No Stupid Questions

Anything helps, of course. Anything is so much better than nothing.

You are skinnyfat, yes? You don't want to lose weight, you want to add lean mass. Weights are what do that best. Ideally you would want to lift heavy at least thrice a week if you are trying to shape up.

I can only lift once a week lately (lady, mid 50s) but do yoga 4x/week too. It's maintaining me reasonably lean.

I have been where you are (single working parent) and what I did back then was wake up at 5am and run, because that was the only time of day nobody needed anything from me, and running is nearly free, just shoes. It sucked, but the days I ran I did feel better later on, it was worth it overall I think. If there is any way you can wake up a half hour earlier and do something vigorous, and then add weight training once a week I think you will get good improvement. Just maybe not as much mass as you ideally want.

Are you 5'3"? I don't mean that to be offensive I am genuinely asking. I haven't weighed anywhere near 130 since I was maybe 12?

Do you want a six pack or do you just want the belly bulge to go away?

Every little bit helps. Generally speaking if you can work a few push ups and sit ups into your daily routine it will likely have more effect than doing an hour long dedicated work out once a week.

Start out with 10 sit ups every morning right when you wake up and do 10 every night before you hop in bed. Add more as you get comfortable or do them periodically throughout the day.

130 lbs???

Beer belly?

Are you like 5'3"? Otherwise... What???

Alternative: Teach kids to cook, on the premise of being a good dad. THEN kids cook ALL the meals!

Yeah! I made your life easier!

When I say exhausted I mean I've been active from 7am until around 8pm non stop. I just don't have energy to go to a gym or something and I'd rather just wind down.

And I do a lot of cycling. I know it's not "ultra mega workout" but I am active and when I mountain bike I can maintain my heart rate pretty well. I noticed my calves getting meatier and my stamina was pretty good at the end of the season.

So id like to think I'm fairly active.. but a lot less when I was younger (drumming, skating, snowboarding, biking. Every day. 365)

You've gotten a lot of advice on here, but I don't think I've seen this...are you able to "suck in your gut" if you try hard and it improves how it looks? If so, it might not even be visceral fat, but just poor muscle tone in your abdominal area. If this is it, then core strength exercises are the way to go. Practice sucking in that gut more and more until it becomes the default, and strengthen your abs and obliques.

The fact that you describe yourself as skinny and low weight suggests that this is not about calories. Do you have a high carb diet? That tends to cause fat to collect in the midsection. If you've ever seen starving children in Africa, you may have noticed that a lot of them have a similar stomach bulge, despite being clearly malnourished. It's from their diet that's high in grains.

The human body is absurdly efficient. Fat weight is tackled by reducing calorie intake (using whatever tactic works for you). Exercise only makes a small difference by comparison.

Edit: for example, you could jog for almost an hour to burn approx 460 calories. Or you could just not eat 1 cinnamon swirl krispy kreme. Ate two at the family BBQ? You just gave your body enough fuel to light jog for 2 hours. A large vanilla milkshake has enough fuel to keep you jogging for an hour and a half. Stop overeating first or gym weightloss is useless.

Do strict keto, the majority of a beer belly is water which bonds with fat at a 3:1 ratio so when you're burning fat as your primary fuel you'll piss half of it out in the first month without any change in physical activity.

Your beer belly, is it hard or jiggly?

If it's a hard beer belly, that means you have lots of visceral fat, fat inside the rib cage. This is a strong indicator of metabolic syndrome.

The single best way to tackle that beer belly is to go low carb, this reduces your blood sugar, letting your insulin levels come down, allowing your body to actually function properly. The human body, really, really, really, really does not like visceral fat, and will remove it with urgency when allowed to.

If you like data, buying a continuous glucose monitor, then playing a game where you keep your glucose as flat as possible all day. The beautiful thing about this is you get instant feedback and know exactly how well your doing.

A absolutely great resource on doing this intervention is: https://www.dietdoctor.com/low-carb

This is the hormonal model of human metabolism, other people have mentioned calorie in calorie out CICO - which is technically correct, but practically unhelpful. Humans are amazing hormonal homeostasis machines, the hormones need to be functioning properly. You can eat 100 g of uranium, and have trillions of calories in your body, but you're not going to be able to use it. It's much better to get your hormones into balance and allow the body to self-correct and stay at optimal.

The great thing about going low carb, is you will lose that visceral fat, your blood pressure will improve, sleep will improve, pre-diabetes will improve, sexual function will improve... Basically everything, the metabolism touches every part of the body! Insulin is extremely important, getting it into control has massive benefits.

All of this! And you won't even be hungry! If you're doing low carb, you can eat as much as you want, as long as you keep your blood sugar down. BBQs steaks eggs bacon cheese, as much as you like at any time. Alcohol : avoid beers, if you must drink vodka or whiskey. -- all of this works because your body will be able to tell you when you're full. Have you ever eaten a steak, and it tastes absolutely delicious at the beginning, but the more you eat it the less and less delicious it tastes? That's how all foods should be. that's the human body self regulating. Sugar messes that system up!

Humans are horribly, miserably energy efficient.

Seriously we evolved as exhaustion predators: pick an animal and just keep walking after it until it drops, then eat it. That's our whole schtick. We are the goddamn terminator.

Just being alive and breathing uses up about 1500-2000 calories a day.

An absolute bastard of a workout will use up maybe 100 on top of that, which makes up for like a spoonful of peanut butter.

As such, you can't practically lose weight via exercise alone. You need to bring calories-in down to less than calories-out.

The tricky part is doing it in a controlled and sustainable manner so you don't just say fuck it and scarf down two whole pizzas for lunch in a week's time because you're hangry and don't care any more.