His mistake: She's clearly a keeper.
this post was submitted on 16 Feb 2025
1214 points (97.8% liked)
Lemmy Shitpost
29516 readers
3468 users here now
Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.
Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!
Rules:
1. Be Respectful
Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.
Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.
...
2. No Illegal Content
Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.
That means:
-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals
-No CSA content or Revenge Porn
-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)
...
3. No Spam
Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.
-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.
-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.
-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers
-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.
...
4. No Porn/Explicit
Content
-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.
-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.
...
5. No Enciting Harassment,
Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts
-Do not Brigade other Communities
-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.
-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.
-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.
...
6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.
-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.
-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.
...
If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.
Also check out:
Partnered Communities:
1.Memes
10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)
Reach out to
All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
A nose keeper
"When she stole my nose, she also stole my heart."
Jokes on you im into that shit.
Literally
You’re such a brownnoser.
Don't care about bumhole or the pinch, but I'd propose instantly due to the humor.
Exaaaactly this. If you can't laugh at yourself and me while we're naked doing fun things, idk how much fun you're having, really.
I remade this meme in a different format because the stupid p*say thing and the dumb pic
No way is Elon Musk that cool.
Exactly. Also, you know he'd hate to be this hypothetical kind of person.
Thanks, the sanitization of the internet is really driving me crazy. Not worth complaining about but I'm happy you made this and will be something I'll try to do in the future
load more comments
(2 replies)
"He was licking my balls from behind and his nose accidentally touched my butthole, so in clenched my cheeks and said 'got your nose Donald' and he kept coming back for more"
Is this Elon Musk but on Threads? lol
That's actually hilarious, apart from idiotic censorship of "pussy".
You got his nose but he's got pink eye
That's why you wear goggles, duh.
Ze goggles do nothing!
Here, have the visual version 🙂
what the hell is happening to the censored text at the top
pussy - > p*ssy - > p*say - > p yay!
load more comments
(1 replies)
Balls are a fellator’s shield against unintentionally playing the back nine, and I'm insulted that god gave them to only half of us.
as the scrotum is easily the ugliest body part, bar none, for either sex, I gotta disagree.
you can shave it, dress it up, put a bow on it, nothing's gonna change the fact that it's a shriveled sack of nuts.
There was a subreddit for people putting like outfits on their peckers, and that's about the only thing I think the fediverse is missing. And before anybody tells me to start that community, I don't have a dick of my own, and yes, I'm aware that it's a skill issue.
load more comments
(9 replies)
load more comments
(2 replies)
Bro if a girl did this to me I'd never leave
Watch out she got his nose! *blam* *blam* *blam*
honestly you don't want a guy with no sense of humor anyway
It's important not to peak too early. How was he ever suppose to top that?
A actual shitpost
My wife loved this
Lowkey Wife material. That level of levity is super attractive
who hasn't had this happen to them more than once
A devote Amish, I'd assume.
How do you think they pass all that time with no technology? Sure, they missed The Wire and Deadwood, but they've discovered sexual techniques that are still 150 years out for the rest of us.
If we are talking about devoted Amish, they literally only have sex for the purpose of procreation, sometimes through a sheet in some cases. Sex for recreation, including oral or anal, are verboten under the Amish Ordnung oral traditions.
In practice, there is sexual "deviancey" and sex had with some degree of knowledge that doing so is not strictly for procreation. Due to cultural aspects, there is shame brought in by such things that they have to get right with God about. Rumspringa, think last repreve before devoting to the Amish life, is usually when young Amish sow some wild oats with some abandon with the English(outsiders) if they so choose.
If you are a single man going through Amish country and see a mailbox with a bag on it, it is an invitation to donate your genetics to the community. Don't expect hot and steamy throws of passion, you are fucking through a sheet while the elders preside over the breeding session in the same room.
If you are a single man going through Amish country and see a mailbox with a bag on it, it is an invitation to donate your genetics to the community.
Wait what???
load more comments
(4 replies)
load more comments
(3 replies)
load more comments
(2 replies)
Worth it, he doesn't deserve you.
view more: next ›