"A census taker once tried to test me. I fired his entire department then ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti." - Hannibal Lector
The Onion
The Onion
A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.
Great Satire Writing:
- The Onion
- Clickhole
- McSweeney's
- Reductress
- The Chaser
- The Hard Times
- The Needling
- Tattletale Times
- The Beaverton
Several Republicans in the Senate admitted they had concerns about Dr Lector’s suitability for the job but approved the nomination anyway because the President promised not to publicly call them thunderous dickheads.
The president went on to publicly call them thunderous dickheads.
“There’s probably a lesson to be learnt here,” said moderate Republican Simon Williams.
“Not really sure what that is though.”
This is too real. But might be a stretch for a Republican senator to have even a millisecond of doubt.
This is a bit off topic but Mads Mikkelsen > Anthony Hopkins
Hopkins portrayal is unnerving and gross, which is a bit too on the nose for my taste.
Mikkelsen is charming and calculated, a stealth predator, playing 4D chess in a world of toddlers. He is a fucking demon.
He said he doesn't eat people though and wants to make america better. Who are you gonna believe? The millions of people that called out his cannibalism and murder and psychopath behavior? Or the guy who clearly said he doesn't eat people?
Yeah, eating people was clearly trolling for the lulz. He's certainly not on a eating-people platform. That would be silly. Okay he might still eat a few people but surely not me. As far as I'm concerned I'm trusting the guy.
Onion had to resort to fictional characters to avoid publishing real news
Pretty sure fictional Lector has a lower body count than RFK. RFK killed like 80 children via anti-measles vaccine propagandizing. The Trumpists are obsessed with those sad and troubling movies because they portray caricatured trans people and cops are portrayed heroically.
I find it frustrating at times that culture on North America is not up to the task of making light of political troubles on the continent.
*edited for civility of tone
I trust him.