this post was submitted on 14 Oct 2023
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[–] Sabata11792@kbin.social 77 points 1 year ago

I say "god damn you" to unwork the broken blessing system.

[–] gibmiser@lemmy.world 67 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Instead try this: Say "What?" And stare at them. Wait for them to explain. Act as though you do not know what a sneeze is. Allow them to explain the process of a sneeze. Tell them you have never experienced that in your life. Wait for them to get exasperated then in a dismissive way mention that you aren't sure you believe them, and change the subject.

Congratulations, you have won this interaction.

[–] starman2112@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 year ago

The ol' smooth shark maneuver

[–] CarlsIII@kbin.social 40 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I like to say “acknowledged!” like Picard

[–] lugal@sopuli.xyz 21 points 1 year ago (1 children)

"I'm going to sneeze."

"Make it so!"

[–] CertifiedBlackGuy@lemmy.world 11 points 1 year ago (1 children)

"You may fire when ready."

[–] lugal@sopuli.xyz 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] MartinXYZ@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

His name is spelled with one "l"; "Wil"

(He'll probably block me for that, if he's on Lemmy)

[–] shiveyarbles@beehaw.org 3 points 1 year ago

Steady.....

[–] danc4498@lemmy.world 34 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I always say “shut up” in the most annoyed way possible.

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[–] doingthestuff@lemmy.world 29 points 1 year ago (4 children)

I don't see anything wrong with gesundheit. It means health. And really I feel like the German expression is just saying - be healthy dammit, and stop sneezing!

[–] onion@feddit.de 5 points 1 year ago

You can also say "Schönheit – gesund biste ja": "Beauty – you're already healthy after all"

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[–] BeefPiano@lemmy.world 23 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] Zorg@lemmings.world 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] Diplomjodler@feddit.de 4 points 1 year ago
[–] PlasterAnalyst@kbin.social 23 points 1 year ago (2 children)

People who intentionally yell when they sneeze can fuck off.

[–] VoilaChihuahua@lemmy.world 12 points 1 year ago

It feels very good, like physically itches the inside back of my throat (amazing if you're having an allergic response to something), while being deeply psychologically satisfying to yell from your abdomen. I try to only do it at home, but there's a reason some people scream-sneeze.

[–] Repelle@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago

I vocalize pretty loudly when I sneeze and it’s entirely involuntary. I hate that I do it and I’ve tried to force myself to stop and it doesn’t work.

[–] ivanafterall@kbin.social 20 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

"Fucking grow up."

[–] TalesFromTheKitchen@lemmy.ml 14 points 1 year ago (1 children)
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[–] MrJameGumb@lemmy.world 13 points 1 year ago (2 children)

This was covered extensively on an episode of Seinfeld

You're soooooo good looking.

[–] PipedLinkBot@feddit.rocks 3 points 1 year ago

Here is an alternative Piped link(s):

Seinfeld

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[–] lugal@sopuli.xyz 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)

"I hate when you do that"

That's my favorite

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[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 12 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

sneeze once "Bless you."

Sneeze twice "Gesundheit."

Sneeze three times "Ok now you're just fishing for attention."

[–] taaz@biglemmowski.win 11 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)
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[–] 018118055@sopuli.xyz 11 points 1 year ago

"Satan curse you"

[–] thejml@lemm.ee 11 points 1 year ago

“I’m sorry, I didn’t quite catch that.” - in a Siri voice “Nah, I’m good, thanks though.” “Dude! You scared the crap outta me!”

[–] Funkymatt@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago

I always 'shhhh' like a librarian would

[–] DauntingFlamingo@lemmy.ml 8 points 1 year ago
[–] BlastboomStrice@mander.xyz 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

In Greece we say "Γείτσες", which is a dimunitive for "Υγεία" (=Health), so essentially its like wishing the other person to be healthy.

[–] tweeks@feddit.nl 6 points 1 year ago

We say the same in the Netherlands, and sometimes we also say the equivalent for "cheers", not sure why though.

[–] zib@kbin.social 8 points 1 year ago

I usually go with "None of that"

[–] germanatlas@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 1 year ago

"Well done" and "clean that up" are my favourites

[–] garbagebagel@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I like to say GOD BLESS YOU in the most dramatic exaggerated way possible immediately after I sneeze so I beat everyone to the punch. You can't bless me bitches.

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

"Don't you dare ask God to help me," Crawford reportedly snapped at the nurses praying at her bedside, before moments later the Academy Award winner took her final breath.

https://www.express.co.uk/entertainment/films/1749878/joan-crawford-final-words-spt

[–] rbos@lemmy.ca 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Sneezing isn't normal! I never sneeze.

[–] Denvil@lemmy.one 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I sneeze multiple times daily whenever I go outside because of ACHOO Syndrome (yes that is a real name lol)

[–] rbos@lemmy.ca 6 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

You poor dear! You should see a doctor. IT IS NOT NORMAL TO SNEEZE!

reference

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[–] jonsnothere@beehaw.org 6 points 1 year ago (3 children)

In Dutch you can say "you sneezed"

[–] Aggravationstation@feddit.uk 7 points 1 year ago

So the expected response in Dutch is to just tell someone they sneezed?

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[–] dustyCheese@beehaw.org 4 points 1 year ago

Sneezing isn’t normal, I never sneeze

[–] potpotato@artemis.camp 4 points 1 year ago
[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

I always tell my partner to cut it out when they sneeze.

[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

"I disagree"

[–] m3t00@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

get any on you?

[–] Gaspar@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 1 year ago

"Heard, chef"

[–] ooterness@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

I prefer the simple "Curse you."

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