song is 2009 by Astrid
I woke up to this post as a draft with a whole essay about how I wish I either killed myself or could detransition but I'm too far into it to go back.
late night panic attacks fucking suck.
I had a similar experience when I learned the MASH theme song had lyrics… “Suicide is painless, it brings so many changes, and you can take or leave it as you please.” Of course, even though MASH was supposedly a comedy, there was more than one episode that would bring you to tears. The chicken on the bus comes to mind.
I think overseas did not have the laugh tack that the US did, kind of changes the show presence.
btw I have a medication for panic attacks, but I got dropped off at my unis cafeteria without my purse
Would you believe me if I told you that one reaches a point where middle-of-the-night panic attacks are just "meh"? Like, you become desensitized to them and you kind of dissociate from the panic attack itself and watch it happen while hoping it won't cost too much sleep time.
It's probably super unhealthy long term but it does boost quality of life short term.
EDIT: I accidentally a letter.
it does boos quality of life
The quality of life that makes you go BOO
Wow. I'm gonna need subtitles to confirm that humming mumble can be parsed.
mainly a place for me (QuinnyCoded/TriflingToad) to archive my shitpost thoughts when I dont take my ADHD meds, but others can post too i guess.
No rules i guess, but i reserve the right to delete anything I don't like for any reason.