Your parents: “We are proud of you to the same extent that we are proud of ketchup”
this post was submitted on 30 Aug 2025
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Immortality pill and a pill that can kill someone who is immortal (for when I get bored).
Edit: Properly labeled!
Fuuuck immortality, give me neverending youth. I wanna die at some point, but don't wanna degrade into old, creepy guy.
And one keeping a well over the best by date pill at that.
There's not much you can do about the old part, but you definitely don't have to become creepy.
But that's the best part!
it's too late already for me dude
I want to be the sentient dust
Seems like you would be okay if you took them in any order, but man would you be pissed in 60 trillion years if they were wrong off the bat.
Put one at each end and spin that Weiner
you said you wouldn't talk about amsterdam
maybe instead of a pill that can kill an immortal you get a pill that can de-immortal an immortal. That way you still get the element of surprise. Everyone likes surprises, right?
It would mean more for me to be proud of my dad.
Also, mustard.
I hear you.
You spend your life trying to satisfy the rules of conditional love with nothing but severe negative feedback dotted with moments of seemingly genuine affection... only for it all to be dashed away at the slightest perceived sleight (e.g. you didn't visit one weekend because you had to juggle your own life).
At this point I'm living with the idea that a form of unconditional love exists deep deep within, but is unable to express itself because it's overpowered by sheer narcissism (the me me me generation were never taught introspection). Why show pride or affection to your kids when petty jealousy and vindictiveness are the main defining traits of your generation.
I hold onto the good memories as hard as I can (there are quite a few nice ones), but I try not to get my hopes up anymore about the relationship. It is what it is.
I had an old coworker who came from the UK (ex military in UK and Navy in US) ask me to grab him a burrito bowl one time at work, I askes whag he wanted in it and he said to tell the person to pack it like his wife was going on vacation and was only allowed one bag. That may be sexist/stereotyping and offensive, but I used that line the next time I got a street dog and he knew exactly what I meant.
Does chili count as one thing? And cheese.
Or mayo and relish.
Or mayo and dijon mustard.
Or chipotle mayo and caramelized onions.
Is ketchup sweeter than it used to be? I can't stand it anymore.
Ketchup has no place on a hotdog. Mustard is the gold standard. Chili, cheese, dijon, and caramelized onions are all acceptable. Tomatoes, pepperoncini, sauerkraut, and pickles are also OK. I have never heard of mayo on a hotdog, is that a Canadian thing or something? I am thinking Canada because they put it on their fries.
Chicago makes the best hotdog. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chicago-style_hot_dog
What if what you want to do is be elitist about hot dog condiments?
Everything is allowed on a hotdog. Seattle dogs have cream cheese, jalapenos and onions and are delicious.
You are right that Chicago dogs are the best, however. All the vinegar notes from the various pickles and peppers really work well with sausage.
Ketchup and mustard is kinda nice, sweet chilli is another fun one.
My favorite part about Chicago being elitist over ketchup is that they add vinegar, sweetness, and tomato to their dogs. If only there was a way to get all that in a single condiment lol
Seattle makes the best dog I'll die on that hill. Cream cheese, onion, sauerkraut (all optional), an enormous array of do it yourself condiments, and some stoned dude who won't judge you for having preferences
Take your fedora and get outta here
Ketchup has no place, period.
Lets get down voted together by being correct!
All aboard the sinking ship S.S. Objectively Correct!
Sorry we don't offer that here... oh no I mean you can have as much ketchup as you like.
I'd take mine with chili and pure satisfaction in life, but that would be redundant so chili alone will suffice.
I wanna add fulfilling work and get me the fuck away from fascism please.
Dijon mustard and relish for me.
Chili (without beans) and cheddar cheese. I'll miss not having onions but I can live without.
Or mustard and sauerkraut.
relish and a response to tyrannical overreach. but good relish, mind, dill.
onion and mayo :)
mayo and mayo
You'll then immediately lose their favor after you put ketchup on a hotdog
Mustard and chopped onions forever
Mustard and pickle slices for me!
That's a lot of wieners...
Sausage party, some might say.
A hotdog with all the toppings I like and a million bucks
If the parents are from Chicago then the ketchup explains WHY they're disappointed
Relish and diced white onion
Your parents aren't proud of you because you choose their acknowledgement over onions on hotdogs.
Fucking loser
two more hotdogs
Mayonnaise and sweet relish.