442
PSA
(lemmy.nz)
What is the charge?! Eating a meal? A succulent Chinese meal?
What is the charge?! ~~Eating~~ Boofing a meal? A succulent Chinese meal?
Get your hands off my ~~penis~~ anus!
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Sir, sir! mastication before masterbation.
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First they came for the spring rolls...
Then I came for the spring rolls
Actually, they first came for anal beads, chess scandal :3
They also came for frozen potatoes
NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ
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And I said "Hey, I was stuffing those up my ass!! Get your own!"
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Literally 1984
Yes that's how many I've gotten up there (lifetime, of course. I'm not a freak).
Why? Why shouldn't I put a spring roll up me bum?
the ring isn't flared at the base that's why
Funniest meme of the day.
Because it offends everyone else at the Chinese buffet.
Because it means you have to poop out your mouth.
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You need spring rolls with flared bases for that.
Nah, it's fine. It's digestible so you'll just pass it out the other end if you lose hold of it.
My spring rolls, my choice.
Why so strict? Let loose a little, give the choice to put juicy Asian rolls up you butt to someone else ...
๐ข**MY FUCKING SPRING ROLLS, MY FUCKING CHOICE, GODDAMMIT!**๐ข
(Much amgery stomping noises ~fading off into the distance~)
[DOOR SLAMS VIOLENTLY, KNOCKING SEVERAL DECORATIVE DISHES FROM THEIR DISPLAY STANDS. END OF SCENE.]
[the audience gets served fresh spring rolls]
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Fuckin Big Pharma, at it again
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Fuck you I won't do what you tell me.
Too late, please advise.
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Lest I checked, this was a free country
I mean... I'm trying to be snarky, but I'm finding it hard to argue that it's bad advice.
Other people in the restaurant?
Me asking the delivery person to "feed" them to me?
One too many springs in my bum causes me to bounce?
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Patients are warning doctors to mind their own business
Good to know, I was sitting on the fence about this. Funny enough, the doctor said I shouldn't be boofing fenceposts either, but I'll wait until there's a consensus on that, I think.
Are egg rolls still fair game though?
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DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO SCIENCE MAN.
What about egg rolls?
That's okay
Frozen? Or no?
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The only thing you should put in your anus is your elbow.
No, wait, that's ears.
The only thing you should put in your anus is your ear.
No, no, that's still not right.
The only think you should put in your anus is something with a flared base.*
*If you're worrying about whether your boyfriend's penis has a flared base and you can't find a tape measure, recall that most penises are not readily detachable, and most boyfriends have hips wider than their penis, so you're in the clear.
If you're worried that this advice doesn't apply simply because you don't have a boyfriend, there's an app for that.
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With a pic of the perfect girth of spring rolls lmao
(Also 69th comment ๐ค)
Health and safety gone mad
Where else am I supposed to store them?
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I can do whatever I want >:(
I'm a bit upset people would do that with such good food.
Can I put anal beads during chess tournament?
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AI or Stupid humans?
Sellouts.
MAHA says veggies are important.
Can't have any fucking fun anymore, what's next, I'm not allowed to shove croissants up my anus?
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this post was submitted on 05 Sep 2025
442 points (98.9% liked)
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