this post was submitted on 07 Sep 2025
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Witchy Memes

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[–] Dagnet@lemmy.world 62 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Oh nice, I can cross that from my checklist

✓ Have a threesome
✓ Have sex with the devil.

[–] RattlerSix@lemmy.world 44 points 11 months ago (1 children)

But it's only premarital sex if you get married afterward

[–] Jankatarch@lemmy.world 29 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (2 children)

(2 pts.) Question 6.
Following the statement above, premarital threesome is :

a) A foursome since devil joins them.
b) A sixsome since there is 3 premarital sex equaling +3.
c) A ninesome since the 3 devils are not married to each other and summon 2 more which summons one more.
d) A premarital sex.

[–] LadyMeow@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 11 months ago

I love c, that’s hilarious

[–] JoMiran@lemmy.ml 27 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] AbsolutelyClawless@piefed.social 11 points 11 months ago (1 children)

This Devil is too busy "rehabilitating" damned souls in a broken system for the rest of eternity after his own child told him to fuck off to Hell. Courtesy of his abusive father called God. Also, threesomes are for sluts, and he isn't one anymore.

[–] Loulou@piefed.blahaj.zone 26 points 11 months ago (3 children)

And afterwards it's with Jesus.

[–] ColdSideOfYourPillow@piefed.social 20 points 11 months ago (1 children)

When you're marrying, if you look closely in the corner, you can see Satan and Jesus doing it together.

[–] GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 22 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] whyNotSquirrel@sh.itjust.works 5 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] GratefullyGodless@lemmy.world 4 points 11 months ago

Are you kidding? Im saving this for future use! Got some religious relatives to annoy.

[–] theuniqueone@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Jesus doesn't participate he just likes to watch. He's always watching.

[–] MonkderVierte@lemmy.zip 3 points 11 months ago

He's a peeping tom.

[–] Lemminary@lemmy.world 8 points 11 months ago

Jesus getting the sloppy seconds.

[–] outhouseperilous@lemmy.dbzer0.com 12 points 11 months ago

They're properly they/them in the original text, so no matter who you are, it's gay.

[–] sundray@lemmus.org 11 points 11 months ago

The problem with having a three-way with the Devil is he starts smoking BEFORE everyone's finished.

[–] Pat_Riot@lemmy.today 7 points 11 months ago

Hey cool, so if it was already a threesome...

[–] DaniNatrix@leminal.space 6 points 11 months ago

The grammar makes my brain itch a bit, "every premarital sex"? How many premarital sexes are there? And where do they hang out so I can make sure I...totally never hang out with them lol