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Cruelty-free Haunted House Only Features Ghosts Who Died of Natural Causes (www.thebeaverton.com)
submitted 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) by can@sh.itjust.works to c/theonion@midwest.social
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[-] snowe@programming.dev 38 points 2 years ago

“It was scary to see writing appear out of thin air on the bathroom mirror at midnight, but then I realised it said ‘MONITOR YOUR CHOLESTEROL,’ and I honestly appreciated the reminder,” said one customer.

I’m dying

[-] grue@lemmy.world 20 points 2 years ago

I'm dying

Should've monitored your cholesterol better.

[-] Pons_Aelius@kbin.social 5 points 2 years ago

Sounds like you should have checked your Cholesterol sooner.

[-] FoundTheVegan@kbin.social 12 points 2 years ago

When I die I'm just going to haunt a N64. Plug it in at your own peril and watch in horror as I select Oddjob with a golden gun.

[-] Tronn4@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago

Beaverton is not the onion

[-] can@sh.itjust.works 12 points 2 years ago

The sidebar lists multiple satire sources that aren't the Onion so I figured it would be fine.

this post was submitted on 31 Oct 2023
175 points (98.9% liked)

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