I am getting offended on this kind of messages, am I overreacting? (sh.itjust.works)

submitted 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) by someacnt@sh.itjust.works to c/asklemmy@lemmy.world

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I got this comment as a reply to my post:

You can get a job and do your math, too.
Other people do more with less, why can't you?
Answer:
spoilerGreed and entitlement.

I feel quite offended, that I have to care about someone else who "do more with less". What does it have to do with greed? I do not get the thought process behind it.

I wonder if I am overreacting. I would feel better if they just said to get a job, but it felt more like they are trying to make fun of me.

EDIT: Thanks everyone for thoughtful replies! Now I feel a lot better - I was in very bad mood when I got the reply above, so I felt even more attacked. Still, I should learn to not get overly offended like this.

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[-] TheAlbatross@lemmy.blahaj.zone 15 points 11 months ago

There's two kinds of people I've met pursuing doctorates.

Those who are independently wealthy and don't need to work while pursuing it and those who aren't and do.

Both seem incredibly stressed and depressed almost consistently. Though the latter seem to be, understandably, bitter at the lamentations of the former.

[-] starlinguk@lemmy.world 8 points 11 months ago

I've never met either. Then again, I'm not in the US. A PhD is always done in conjunction with a job. And I don't mean waitressing, I mean your PhD work is incorporated in your job.

[-] TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 2 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

most phd stipends don't cover the cost of living. especially with the massive inflation of the past decade...

i gave up my PhD studies because my stipent was about $10,000 per year less than the basic cost of living. It was basically designed for wealthy people. and the employment opportunities were low paying and scarce. it made zero sense.

until i realize phd programs are largely designed for/by wealthy people and purposefully setup to exclude working-class people like myself. it was classism in action. didn't help how 'mortified' all my peers when they found out how i grew up...

That sounds better. My friend is working in their field, but the positions are set up knowing that they’ll mostly be applied for by PhD students with masters degrees during their coursework, so they know they can pay like crap and they’ll take it anyway. All my understanding of these systems come from the US way, so it’s nice to know it’s better elsewhere.

[-] TheAlbatross@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 11 months ago

That sounds better. My friend is working in their field, but the positions are set up knowing that they'll mostly be applied for by PhD students with masters degrees during their coursework, so they know they can pay like crap and they'll take it anyway. All my understanding of these systems come from the US way, so it's nice to know it's better elsewhere.

[-] someacnt@sh.itjust.works 4 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

I see, maybe that's it. But I've also seen many who aren't rich and get by through scholarships instead. I believe I am one of them - I earn a little bit of money as I pursue my doctorate, although it's not much. I guess this is impossible in US, maybe..

I do not understand what this has to do with greed.

[-] roofuskit@lemmy.world 8 points 11 months ago

There's a lot of very stressed angry people right now, this is probably someone just lashing out at anyone as opposed to a you problem.

[-] TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 1 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

there is a lot of people who are stressed and angry about not having more, despite having 100x the wealth of the average person.

in fact most people i know making 50-100K, are a lot less angry and stressed than those making 300-500K. ironically. the latter think they are in poverty for some reason, despite being on the top of the economic ladder, and the former are annoyed they can't afford a home but aren't grateful how good their life is.

[-] TheAlbatross@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

I'm not sure, though I don't think I'd use the word greed or entitlement there. That said, I think people who aren't working through their doctorate often don't appreciate just how lucky they are to avoid such a burden. A friend of mine was kvetching about a fellow in their cohort complaining about how the dissertation scheduling was interfering with their European vacation holiday while my friend is trying to pick up as many shifts as they can at two part time jobs that wildly underpay them for their education level. My friend never has a consistent schedule and never seems to have more than maybe ten hours of free time a week outside of sleeping. That person is entitled and clueless.

That all said, I don't think you need to take the words of anyone on social media or an internet forum all that seriously or personally.

Personally? The academic system seems utterly fucked up and abusive. In a way that favors education for the few that can mitigate the pains of capitalism already.

[-] nymnympseudonym@piefed.social 2 points 11 months ago

The academic system seems utterly fucked

This right here

Unfortunately we need calm, competent, apolitical technocratic adults in policy-making positions to address this structural deficiency.

Imagine if the Secretary of Education, Science Adviser, head of NASA, head of HHS, etc, all came together and said, "We need to re-work the incentive structure for publishing papers. More reproducibility, better review processes, totally new funding model. Moreover, all academic publications must be available free to the public -- and important findings also come with funding for science communicators to simplify and clarify findings to the public"

Instead, we get brainworm, anti-Tylenol, more trans-fats

"We are in a race between education and oblivion"

[-] TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 2 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

people are just angry at you that your position in life is better than theirs. or perceive it to be such.

your life is a lot better than someone who is going to be a gas station clerk for their entire life. your poverty is temporary.

frankly i don't blame them. listen to med students and the like whine about how poor they are is just pathetic when they will walk off into jobs with high six figure salaries in 5-10 years. esp because they don't realize how privledged they are to be where they are. where i grew up there were no doctors.

[-] mattc@lemmy.world 9 points 11 months ago

Try not to let anyone control your emotions, especially a stranger on the internet. Misery loves company. Hope you have a great day.

[-] nymnympseudonym@piefed.social 3 points 11 months ago

Or, as my wise old Mother used to say to us kids when she was alive:

"People are assholes. Fuck 'em!"

[-] Acamon@lemmy.world 8 points 11 months ago

Having read through your other post that person was being weird, got heavily downvoted and it's perfectly reasonable that you got offended. It's not even clear what his point was, because your post wasn't about money. So, they were presumably jumping to a lot of conclusions and then responding to an imagined different post.

[-] zxqwas@lemmy.world 5 points 11 months ago

There will be tons of people on the internet that feels like you deserve to be hurt emotionally or even physically for whatever you do.

I don't have much context to go on but it sounds like their comment contains no valid criticism.

[-] remon@ani.social 4 points 11 months ago

Well, you know started an entire new post about it, so I'd say yes.

[-] TriangleSpecialist@lemmy.world 4 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

I saw the post that this was on, and yeah, that comment was uncalled for. So I get that it may have been confusing or even made you angry.

That being said, you can't let some bitter person or some troll get to you on the internet like that, they'll just spew their bullshit and move on. You won't do yourself any good dwelling on it.

I'll add to that that seeing as you're studying for a maths PhD, chances are you are going to meet your fair share of insecure/competitive/self-important assholes who'll like nothing more than to belittle you just so they can feel good about themselves/eliminate the competition. This won't stop at academia either. So a good thing you can pick up during your PhD is to learn to not care when it's not worth it, and to bite back properly when it is.

Source: been there, done that. I am now out of the academic cesspool but still (very) occasionally run into an insecure twat with a PhD who feels threatened by the fact I also have one and tries to start the dick measuring contest. You'll make your life impossible if you give these people anymore attention than they deserve: none.

[-] IWW4@lemmy.zip 2 points 11 months ago

Before I can say. I am going to need a lot more context on the first statement and more context on the conversation as a whole.

Also are you greedy and entitled?

[-] andrewta@lemmy.world 1 points 11 months ago

Without a lot more contact it would be impossible to say.

this post was submitted on 27 Oct 2025

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