this post was submitted on 10 Nov 2023
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top 48 comments
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[โ€“] redcalcium@lemmy.institute 92 points 1 year ago (5 children)

How people from high context culture tell their guest it's time to leave: "whelp"

How people from low context culture tell their guess it's time to leave: "I think you should leave"

[โ€“] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 47 points 1 year ago

Fun excruciating fact: the worse your social anxiety, the more desperate you might be to get rid of them and at the same time the less likely you are to go with the second option ๐Ÿ˜ฎโ€๐Ÿ’จ

[โ€“] ndru@lemmy.world 13 points 1 year ago

Fascinating, thanks for sharing!

[โ€“] TimewornTraveler@lemm.ee 4 points 1 year ago

That's cool. I can't think of menu low context cultures in any national scales, but definitely a few subcultures in the US.

Korea on the other hand is the epitome of high context culture.

[โ€“] Sombyr@lemmy.one 3 points 1 year ago

Come to think of it, I don't think I've ever seen anyone actually ask somebody to leave where I'm from. If it gets too late and our guests are still there, guess they're staying the night. Luckily, most people leave before then.
I've lived most of my life in tiny Vermont villages, for context.

[โ€“] Vampiric_Luma@lemmy.ca 3 points 1 year ago

MMmMMMMmmm thank you for that scrumptious link

It someone slaps their knees in my own house I start thinking of leaving

[โ€“] Arfman@aussie.zone 54 points 1 year ago (5 children)

I saw a video yesterday that in Japan, your hosts will offer to serve green tea on rice. Apparently this is a hint for the guests to leave.

[โ€“] ExLisper@linux.community 35 points 1 year ago (1 children)

In Poland you just tell them there's no more vodka.

[โ€“] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 27 points 1 year ago

Which of course is never true in Poland ๐Ÿ˜

[โ€“] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 32 points 1 year ago (5 children)

In Denmark, the host will sometimes serve soup or another light dish to signal that it's time for them to leave. It's actually informally known as "go away-food"

I wish I had the confidence and rudimentary cooking abilities to serve guests go away-food ๐Ÿ˜†

[โ€“] redcalcium@lemmy.institute 28 points 1 year ago (1 children)

People who can't cook: "I guess a have a new roommate now"

[โ€“] dudinax@programming.dev 9 points 1 year ago

Leading to a training montage. Years later, your roommate tries your three thousandth attempt at fuck-off soup, smiles at you, stands up and says "whelp..."

[โ€“] door_in_the_face@feddit.nl 20 points 1 year ago (2 children)

In the Netherlands we have "fuck off coffee", to be served after dinner.

[โ€“] postnataldrip@lemmy.world 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[โ€“] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago

Nah, that's different. Fuckoffee is coffee you drink to build up or maintain energy for prolonged sessions of fucking.

[โ€“] Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de 7 points 1 year ago (2 children)

you sure it's not called "annoying cancer-cunt-twat tuberculosis coffee"?

[โ€“] door_in_the_face@feddit.nl 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I think the literal translation of the name is "rot away coffee" so it might have something to do with tuberculosis or leprosy? The rest is reserved for special occasions, unless you're from Rotterdam of course.

[โ€“] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

Lots of annoying cunts in Rotterdam?

[โ€“] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago

Nah, that's what you serve if a far right politician visits.

[โ€“] Honytawk@lemmy.zip 14 points 1 year ago

It isn't that difficult.

Go away food doesn't need to taste good. In fact, it helps them go away much faster.

[โ€“] Nalivai@discuss.tchncs.de 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Are you expected to eat fuck off soup, or should you fuck off right away?

[โ€“] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It's up to you, really. You can fuck off right away, eat the soup and then fuck off or you can have fucked off before the soup was served ๐Ÿคท

[โ€“] ptolemy@infosec.pub 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

All roads lead to fuck off.

[โ€“] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

I need that on a doormat ๐Ÿ˜†

[โ€“] aubble@lemm.ee 0 points 1 year ago (1 children)

What?! This simply is not true.

[โ€“] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 11 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It very much is. Maybe it's not a custom in your part of the country but here in ร˜stjylland and in Himmerland, it definitely is.

[โ€“] Norgur@kbin.social 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

So ist the logic behind this to say "looks we were planning on having dinner about now" implying that the guest is intruding but in order to show hospitality, you'd have to invite them to the meal, so you server some plain-ass soup that won't cost you squat if the guest should accept your offer but is bland enough so that the guest will likely pass anyway?

[โ€“] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago

I think it's more like "we'll give you a bit of food for the journey. Nothing too heavy so you'll want to sit down for a long time, but decent food nonetheless. Now kindly scram"

[โ€“] redcalcium@lemmy.institute 18 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Are you supposed to refuse the rice, or leave after eating the rice?

[โ€“] Arfman@aussie.zone 7 points 1 year ago

Refuse and it's the cue to leave

[โ€“] gusVLZ@sh.itjust.works 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I'm Brazilian and over here we can both, place a broom behind the front door or start doing the dishes

[โ€“] LemmyInRedditSux@lemm.ee 11 points 1 year ago (1 children)

How does the act of placing a broom behind the front door signify the guest should leave? The broom is blocking the exit. ๐Ÿค”

[โ€“] gusVLZ@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 year ago

The door is open and the broom is visible between the wall and the door

[โ€“] EllyEinhorn@feddit.de 5 points 1 year ago

Carrie Fisher would have her copy of the Star Wars Holiday Special if she wanted everyone to leave.

[โ€“] Tuhis@lemmy.world 30 points 1 year ago

I just announce that the orgy is about to start and in less than a minute I'm alone. ๐Ÿ˜ค

[โ€“] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 22 points 1 year ago (1 children)

When I'm tired of the people, I just tell them to get the fuck out.

They get it.

[โ€“] Classy@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I used to be more Midwestern, "Welp" or "Alright" kind of thing, but I've been becoming a bit more low context with time. Especially if I have my family with me. It's a lot easier to terminate exchanges when you have a kid.

"I'm gonna go now" seems like it's going to be too direct but people adjust pretty quickly in my experience. Or maybe everyone I know thinks I'm an asshole lol

[โ€“] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

I just speak plainly. It works wonders.

There are some people who don't like it, but that's just because they're even bigger assholes.

[โ€“] pinkdrunkenelephants@lemmy.cafe 22 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Why wouldn't people just say, "It's getting late, this was fun, but I need to sleep so it's time for everyone else to leave, let's hang out again next week"?

Why can't people be simple?

[โ€“] phorq@lemmy.ml 16 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Yeah, I normally say "I can't clog the bathroom with people listening" and that normally works

[โ€“] sneezymrmilo@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

Hahah I love this one. Gonna have to use this sometime.

[โ€“] punkwalrus@lemmy.world 11 points 1 year ago

I have had hosts be this direct, and we all went, "okay," and left. And came back when invited with no hard feelings. Usually D&D games, but also movie nights.

[โ€“] Stumblinbear@pawb.social 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

I just bounce

Even during my own parties or while I have people over. Stay as long as you like, even stay the night if you so desire, but I'm going to my room and passing out at 10pm no matter what, so you do you from that point on. It's likely I'll also forget to tell you I'm going to bed

What would stop a friend from stealth living with you then?

[โ€“] i_like_birds@lemmy.world 14 points 1 year ago

Ah, the Midwest goodbye. Also appropriate is a "whelp, I suppose."

As a guest I am never this type of problem, as I will usually have done an "Irish goodbye" hours before this point. If I haven't, my only problem would be not exclaiming out loud "oh thank god" when the host whelps.

[โ€“] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 4 points 1 year ago

I always want to leave but don't wanna be rude so as soon as the host says "Wh-" I'm up and out the door.