If you are willing to risk a financially debilitating addiction to cardboard or minis, your local game store could fill that role. I have jokingly referred to my usually-weekly visit to my LGS as "nerd church," complete with the tithe of a few booster packs. You have to get lucky though because the quality of community can vary wildly. I am fortunate in that regard.
You can usually find community and some cool people at local mutual aid groups, here's how to find those.
Earlier in time we all had a little bit of money left over for adventure and community. Nowadays everything costs too much and is branded and corporatized to cost even more. Most rational thinking people just stay home because they're broke. I agree that we need more real life socialization opportunities but the best we can do is technology "social" media.
If a hobby exists there's probably a local group for it
Things like hiking, biking, gardening are the most common
Join a choir. Same connection.
Nope, nothing else offers an out from the fear of death.
Nor the forgiveness sans accountability.
Yep, there’s another one.
That’s what builds the community. Or binds it. Those things at that level that aren’t offered elsewhere to ordinary people.
look for granges and mutual aid projects. that's been my experience. they offer the community and the mutual support, put without the guilt, shame, and hate
I've always preferred staring at the wall. It's just like church except without the church
Church seems to fill the hobby need and has some of the same core aspects
- common interest
- regular meet ups
- online and in person groups
Honestly replacement really could be as simple as finding a group that fits your hobbies (I’m in a writing group for example)
Alternatively volunteer, it checks a lot of the same boxes (sense of community, trying to make things better) with none of the religious bits (assuming you find an agnostic organization)
Live music performances often fill that void for me. It doesn't have to be a fancy orchestra or expensive venue, my town hosts free live music once a week. The music is nice because it gives you the opportunity to zone out and be introspective while surrounded by others. There is also usually a social scene before and after the set.
Birding. Get into birdwatching. Mediative closeness with nature. A realization of the whole. Everything is connected
Kinda random, but I've thought about joining a local non-church choir to meet people in a similar way.
Take an art class
I go to a music school where I practice with a band for 90 minutes every Sunday.
I also host "sauna sundays" at my house during the colder months.
My partner for awhile played mahjong with a group every weekend at the local furry coffee shop and taproom.
There are so many ways to church without church, and arguably they're a hell of a lot better than religious indoctrination and reinforcement. Nobody needs that shit to love their neighbor.
I think that's a book club.
You do not need to be a member to join events in most public University clubs.
Where I live, pretty rural mountain county, we've got like 5 run clubs, 8 mountain bike clubs, 3 ski clubs, a weekly triathlon when it's warmer out, and just a ton of other community events. Getting in shape is a lot more fun when you have friends that will encourage you. All you have to do is show up consistently.
Run club got me through some very lonely depressed times.
Find any place with people that you can frequent. It doesn't even have to be in real life.
I have a discord gaming group, we do annual meetups globally, when someone died we did a whip round and a service... Community is wherever you spend your time
The Buddhist word for this is sangha or community of like minded individuals. Not necessarily to suggested a sangha but most are non denominational and not strictly religious as well as being kind welcoming individuals.
The core concept though is just finding the people you vibe with, or "your people." Try finding places that revolve around a hobby or interest of yours and you will likely find like-minded individuals.
The foundation these can exist on is protected "reserved" physical spaces.
Here we see communities spring up in the city parks and car-free zones, accessible hiking places (my home town is built in a pile of small mountains), and local school activity centers.
So if you see any space that's reserved from commercial exploitation, I'd look there and see if anything has formed. Communities usually don't advertise heavily.
Isn't that just a cult?
What do you like to do, or is there anything you'd want to try? I love going to concerts and hanging out in line all day. You can get talking and make friends for the day or longer, and people tend to really look out for each other. You bond over the music and the craziness of getting sunburned or rained on just to see a band you love.
I took rollerblading lessons for a while and met some great people. There's a local art gallery that has classes and movie nights. Or hanging out with the neighbors at the community garden. There are other groups that meet to help out in the community or talk about [insert hobby here], but I haven't gone yet.
Boy I have been feeling this exact sentiment so much this week. We have a child, and there's just nothing like church out there for families. Church is free (though they do expect a tithe) but the family activities are so plentiful. It's like all the classes and small groups and stuff come with free childcare, including the Sunday service. Most all of the suggestions here are not kid friendly and i just don't have the resources to pay for childcare once a week so I can do a fun activity, class, or club focused on adults. I already use my parents once a week so I can attend therapy and I feel bad enough about that to ask for anything more.
I did look up my local UU and they have a game night that includes childcare, but I'm going to have to attend services for a while before I trust anyone new with my child.
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