Melania Trump is a scowling void of pure nothingness ~~in her ghastly film – review~~
Guys, I'm being totally genuine when I say that this description truly is spot on.
That is Melania. That's her. This is how she is objectively described.
It's either a bribe or a money laundring sceme. It's the only thing that makes sense.
It’s a bribe, go look at how much the movie paid to her. It was like half of the overall movie budget.
About 70% of the budget.
Budget $40 mil and she got paid $29mil. Definitely a real movie
Who is your favourite musician, Ratner (against whom there have been accusations of wrongdoing) asks Melania. She responds with “Michael Jackson” (against whom there have been accusations of wrongdoing), detailing how she met the late singer with her husband (against whom there have been accusations of wrongdoing). Perhaps this is Ratner’s vision for a modern American: a country of forgiveness.
Lmao this writing is pure gold
You can tell they were having fun with this review
The “film” is part propaganda, sure, and part sop to Big Tech companies who require constant regulatory approval for financial manoeuvrings. Even then, it is bad. It will exist as a striking artefact – like The Birth of a Nation or Triumph of the Will – of a time when Americans willingly subordinated themselves to a political and economic oligopoly. Organising plans for his return to the White House at 2am, after the Starlight Ball, Trump announces he will immediately “begin straightening out the nation”. “We’re all very grateful,” his event producer whimpers sycophantically. It is a visceral moment where audiences, around the world, will begin to taste the boot that the American establishment so blithely licks.
At least The Birth of a Nation and Riefenstahl's films had an impact on filmmaking. No one's going to cite Melania as inspiring anything other than suicidal thoughts while being forced to watch it
“No matter where [people] come from,” Melania announces during one of her grating voiceovers, “we are bound by the same humanity.”
Does she know what her husband is doing to immigrants?
She does. Remember when she went to visit children in cages wearing this? 
Fuuuuuuck this bitch
When your entire life is based on gold digging, you aren't going to have a lot else going on upstairs.
Her claim to fame is being the first first lady whose pussy you can see on the internet.
As the Sopranos like to say...
I think they should hand out a They Live kit with this movie....
I do not understand how it did 7 million in the opening weekend.
Money. Laundering.
Isn't that not very much for a debut these days? What did endgame do?
Brb.
Edit: I'm back. It did 1.2 billion in 5 days
Your comparing a movie with a budget of $356 million to a documentary.
I am not a mathematician but...doesn't that mean:
Sure, but it was a documentary with a budget of 75m, so it should at least get a fraction, right?
I mean. There's still a lot of people out there who'd love to show Daddy Trump their ass.
But those people don't have the attention span to see a WHOLE movie in a dark room without a phone
I'm assuming these are numbers like the Regnery Press has for their books.
People writing reviews for newspapers/movie websites, and people who enjoy really bad movies
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