this post was submitted on 27 May 2026
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Fuck AI

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The AI companion startup is hiring 10 "masturbation consultants" to test a feature called Daily Guided Masturbation, which uses mood-matched AI voice sessions to guide users through the experience. Participants would document how regular use affects stress, sleep quality, mood, and confidence. The four-week role is open to adults 18 and older in the U.S. and the U.K...

Joi AI is focused on making AI companionship more immersive, personalized, and emotionally responsive," Levin said. "We’re innovating features like Daily Guided Masturbation to make AI a more intuitive part of people’s everyday wellness routines, not just a novelty experience."

Source [2026-05-24; web-archive]

It saddens me to say this, but I don't believe this path will teach us how to preserve our humanity, or to support a human to learn to become a lovable, empathetic, experienced human.

Yes, I do realize that this has been around for a long time, including the scene from film "The 6th Day" of ~2000 with the apartment "virtual girlfriend" I recall even.
And it feels like I get for where this is coming from, and how lone or ill people (e.g. film Shame) may find it relevant, but... I'm deeply saddened because I don't see it helping us nurture our truest, most human selves... and personally, I see it a degradation of a humanity, since I believe in people should focus on love between actual people, search for a true love...

We can do better...

It does not seem like this kind of technology will support a person to have a healthy and long-term happy life...
I'm holding out heartfelt deep hope that us people can discover a better way... to not invest technologies to distant all of us even further with every such invention... but instead to ease the search for partners... or for our true... infinitely magnificent Soulmates instead... since isn't it the purpose... to finally find a miracle... to be a miracle for them, too... and both create a universe...

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[–] ExtremeDullard@piefed.social 85 points 2 months ago (4 children)

I can totally see how this is a harder job that it sounds, because I guarantee you there's no way I could stay hard with a fucking AI talking to me at the same time.

[–] Witchfire@lemmy.world 54 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

(in AI voice) You are an excellent masturbator! I have analyzed your music taste and will play some lively music to get you in the mood. There is no challenge we cannot conquer together!

*AI generated Touhou trap mix starts playing*

[–] neukenindekeuken@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 months ago

You're exactly right! I haven't actually cum yet.

Let's dig in and figure out how to resolve this issue.

Grepping...

[–] msage@programming.dev 1 points 2 months ago

So you like traps, eh?

[–] CorrectAlias@piefed.blahaj.zone 9 points 2 months ago

You're absolutely right, dummy thicc big titty bukkake hentai is an excellent choice for this evening's epic pleasure quest!

[–] TropicalDingdong@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago

Keep going I'm almost there..

[–] Runecrush376@lemmy.world 1 points 2 months ago
[–] Janx@piefed.social 55 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I can't believe I've been doing it for free, like a chump!

[–] inari@piefed.zip 12 points 2 months ago

If you're good at something, don't do it for free!

[–] Th4tGuyII@fedia.io 46 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Well, an AI masturbation coach was definitely not on my 2026 bingo card.

[–] Spacehooks@reddthat.com 8 points 2 months ago

I thought this already existed. Its just JOI.

[–] OpenStars@piefed.social 7 points 2 months ago

At this rate, it prolly should have been 🤔🤯🙃

[–] ragepaw@lemmy.ca 30 points 2 months ago (1 children)

All the money I've let slip through my fingers...

[–] honesthenery@thelemmy.club 11 points 2 months ago

ewwww hahaha

[–] Kenny2999@lemmy.world 24 points 2 months ago

Professional hand-AI coordinator

[–] CannedYeet@lemmy.world 20 points 2 months ago

I don't think this is what the mods had in mind when naming this community.

[–] KonnaPerkele@sopuli.xyz 18 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

This is an ad.

Edit: not your post, but the the whole story. A publicity stunt.

[–] bold_atlas@lemmy.world 15 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

"Hey mom, guess what... I finally found a job!"

[–] mrmaplebar@fedia.io 12 points 2 months ago (1 children)

If you really think about it, how is this different from what all the AI startups are going?

[–] honesthenery@thelemmy.club 5 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Money to burn

Poppin out turds

Slinging shit to the suckers.

Everybodys working

But nothing is getting done.

Its a ~~mans~~ gipitys world

Corporate Personhood

[–] LostWanderer@fedia.io 11 points 2 months ago

Eww, like keep AI out of my personal play time...It's nasty how these corporations are so desperate to extract value out of people using a cursed tool that will be their doom (at least I hope it will be). I would rather not be paid to listen to a cursed LLM guiding my masturbation, my inner voice is far better at it than a thoughtless, souless techbro creation.

[–] Zier@fedia.io 10 points 2 months ago (1 children)

You can start an OnlyFans for $10/month and get more than 200 subscribers if your are smart doing the same thing.

[–] CannedYeet@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago

Yeah, there are relevant skills with mindfulness and describing sensations, which is largely similar to dirty talk.

[–] bold_atlas@lemmy.world 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Even the most disease-riddled backwoods trailer park brothel is still a healthier way obtain companionship .

[–] OpenStars@piefed.social 5 points 2 months ago

Um... might depend on the disease though.

[–] DokPsy@lemmy.world 6 points 2 months ago

The description reads like some post nut clarity porn comment. I get it but still

[–] MintyFresh@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago

Were melting glaciers for this

[–] ZDL@lazysoci.al 1 points 2 months ago

That whole notion of "soul mates" is intensely toxic in my opinion. You don't need it to look at AI jack/jill-off machines with sidelong glances and edging away.

[–] honesthenery@thelemmy.club 1 points 2 months ago (1 children)

oh gipity oh gipity...

Shows you really what a grift ol gipity really is.

The bubble will pop but the dumb dumb shit will not.

Capitalism is nonsense for sure.

Stroke stroke your boat,

Gently down the stream.

Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily,

Life is but a dream.

[–] honesthenery@thelemmy.club 0 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

*all AI == ol gipity

One gipity under gipity with gipity and gipty for all....

[–] eleijeep@piefed.social -2 points 2 months ago

I didn't need the weird preachy summary from OP. I might sign up just to spite them.