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I am fully optimized. AMA (sh.itjust.works)
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[-] mech@feddit.org 27 points 3 months ago

"AMA and receive thoughtless one-liner answers"
Good thread, OP. I fully optimized your mom last night.

[-] lime@feddit.nu 21 points 3 months ago
[-] sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works 19 points 3 months ago
[-] lime@feddit.nu 9 points 3 months ago

just better at everything?

[-] sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works 29 points 3 months ago

I'm not better at any particular thing. I've transcended being better at particular things. I am simply optimized, to the most absolute and radical degree.

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[-] Valmond@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 3 months ago

Not answering quickly it seems.

[-] Lumidaub@feddit.org 17 points 3 months ago

But are you fully functional?

[-] sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works 20 points 3 months ago

I've transcended functionality.

[-] Miller@lemmy.world 31 points 3 months ago

You're a manager?

[-] Lumidaub@feddit.org 7 points 3 months ago
[-] sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works 17 points 3 months ago

I'm not good, I'm optimized.

[-] subOrange@lemmy.world 14 points 3 months ago

What’s your morning routine?

[-] sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works 35 points 3 months ago

While I'm still asleep an AI-generated orchestra radiates subsonic symphonic movements into my cerebral cortex. I awaken when the symphony reaches a crescendo. I take a coffee-ginseng bath while smart contact lenses display the latest economic data. I don't use the data for anything because that would degrade the quality of the data as it rewires my brain. Then my muscles are electrically stimulated in my electro-gym machine (a repurposed tanning bed designed by Japanese drug lords). Then my blood vessels are cleansed in a zero-G centrifuge laboratory (blood pumped out and replaced with a cleansing saline solution while the blood is filtered of all impurities and finally returned to my body). Then it's three hours of wall-climbing while screaming at the top of my lungs.

[-] 0ops@piefed.zip 7 points 3 months ago

This is lyrics to a King Missile song, right?

[-] sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works 14 points 3 months ago

My evening routine consists largely in cleaning my detachable penis and running it through a series of unit tests.

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[-] PeriodicallyPedantic@lemmy.ca 14 points 3 months ago
[-] sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works 8 points 3 months ago

To the Optimization Ball.

[-] Klear@piefed.world 14 points 3 months ago

What is the most optimal question to ask you?

[-] sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works 13 points 3 months ago

"Are you fully optimized?"

[-] Klear@piefed.world 16 points 3 months ago
[-] QuinnyCoded@sh.itjust.works 11 points 3 months ago

what kind of keyboard do you use?

[-] sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works 11 points 3 months ago

Keychron K5 SE (low profile) with mint switches (65g actuation force)

[-] Akasazh@lemmy.world 11 points 3 months ago

You're already OP in this thread.

What follows is that your are timized

[-] swab148@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 points 3 months ago
[-] Buddahriffic@lemmy.world 10 points 3 months ago

That's for functional. If you want to test optimized, can you run Crysis?

[-] sunsofold@lemmy.zip 11 points 3 months ago

Why have you stopped taking your meds?

[-] sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works 15 points 3 months ago

I have transcended my meds.

I AM OPTIMIZED

[-] Una@europe.pub 9 points 3 months ago
[-] hedge_lord@lemmy.world 7 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

What is the most optimized colour? For general optimality purposes. I like green.

[-] sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works 10 points 3 months ago

I am the rainbow

[-] gigastasio@sh.itjust.works 7 points 3 months ago

26C FA582CC113 9063BB? A165? 3DA76 B2B2, 767A1A?

[-] sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works 21 points 3 months ago

Ah yes, the Fibonacci sequence. Classic.

[-] gigastasio@sh.itjust.works 13 points 3 months ago

Dear god, you really are fully optimized!

[-] etchinghillside@reddthat.com 7 points 3 months ago

Why did you oil bukkake the pillow guy?

[-] sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works 12 points 3 months ago

It's just part of the optimization process.

[-] silver@das-eck.haus 7 points 3 months ago

Does this make you the ultimate optimist

[-] sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works 6 points 3 months ago
[-] BOplaid@discuss.tchncs.de 6 points 3 months ago

What do you think of unoptimized people?

[-] sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works 11 points 3 months ago

They are the dirt from which I grew

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this post was submitted on 11 Jun 2026
79 points (94.4% liked)

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