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I specify men's restroom since there are alternatives to peeing which don't involve a toilet seat.

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[-] Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world 33 points 2 weeks ago

I don't want to touch it either, but if you're going to stand in front of a public toilet, just lift the damn seat.

[-] HobbitFoot@thelemmy.club 19 points 2 weeks ago

And new seats even have a bump out so you can use your feet.

[-] Vandals_handle@lemmy.world 24 points 2 weeks ago

User name checks out

[-] fyzzlefry@retrolemmy.com 4 points 2 weeks ago

Its whatever, just wash your hands people.

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[-] _deleted_@aussie.zone 30 points 2 weeks ago

I drive really slow in the ultra fast lane 
While people behind me are going insane

I'm an asshole !

I use public toilets, and I piss on the seat 
I walk around in the Summer time, saying, "How about this heat?"

I'm an asshole !

[-] waz@feddit.uk 7 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Try to find the stand-up show ‘no cure for cancer’ this song is in it and the rest is insanely good,

I want a restaurant only for men, naked men all sitting round a camp fire eating meat, straight off the cow. In fact bring me the whole cow, I’ll carve off what I want and ride the rest home!

Or something like that.

That and therapy,

I’ll give you therapy, therapy is mowing the lawn and crying Edit; Found it No cure for cancer

[-] _deleted_@aussie.zone 3 points 2 weeks ago
[-] waz@feddit.uk 4 points 2 weeks ago

The video starts with the song, but it’s a 1 hour stand-up show.

[-] LavaPlanet@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 weeks ago

My ex used to laugh about how he would purposefully piss on public toilet seats. Absolute sociopath. I guess Dennis was giving us some screening questions.

[-] elvith@feddit.org 2 points 2 weeks ago

I use public toilets, and I piss on the seat
[ ... ]
I'm an asshole !

No, you're a dick. An asshole would shit on the toilet seat...

[-] paranoid@lemmy.world 9 points 2 weeks ago

It's lyrics to a song called Asshole by Dennis Leary

[-] QuantumSparkles@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 weeks ago

I shit in the urinal as god intended

[-] wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago

They even include a cake as a snack

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[-] neuracnu@lemmy.blahaj.zone 22 points 2 weeks ago

I think you’ve got two types of people doing this:

  • penis people who just plain can not be bothered to lift the seat. The types of folks who bumble through life haphazardly, don’t wear seat belts, let dishes pile up, put the sour cream back in the fridge without putting the lid back on, who never bother to wash their feet or legs in the shower because they think the soap that washes down their body will handle it, people who drink the last of the coffee without making another pot. Selfish, but also kinda physically grody.
  • vagina people who hover. These people I do not understand.
[-] HobbitFoot@thelemmy.club 36 points 2 weeks ago

People who hover hover because of people who hover.

Yo dawg, I heard you like to hover.

[-] Andonyx@lemmy.world 9 points 2 weeks ago

For a second I thought you'd come up with a new epithet for people who don't hold up their end of the social contract: penis people. I thought, "that's a new and fun way to call someone a dick." 🤔

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[-] yannic@lemmy.ca 14 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Not mildly.

Majorly.

I had part of my digestive tract removed. I can't afford an accident at the urinal.

[-] Zarobi@aussie.zone 11 points 2 weeks ago

It's fucking gross.

I always wipe down every seat with enough toilet paper I feel like I'm not going to directly touch any pee. It's just an ingrained habit from decades of living with people who like their toilet seats cold, moist, and yellow.

Tap for NSFWMy least favourite is when it seems like they didn't even pull back the foreskin or something, and just completely cover the entire toilet, seat, and floor, with a fine spray of urine. Lovely. I wipe down everything with like 20 squares of tp and then wash my hands before even doing my business.

[-] datavoid@sh.itjust.works 4 points 2 weeks ago

Those uncut savages!

[-] pineapple@lemmy.ml 10 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

There is this thing called lifting up the seat. DO IT!

[-] kadotux@sopuli.xyz 8 points 2 weeks ago

Just sit down to pee like an adult

[-] jestho@lemmy.zip 7 points 2 weeks ago

But there's piss everywhere :(

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[-] PhoenixDog@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago

I've literally gone into public bathrooms with no urinals, only stalls, and the seats don't lift up. You have no choice but to aim and pray.

Except I'm not a degenerate and I'll grab some paper and wipe anywhere I missed.

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[-] Diddlydee@feddit.uk 4 points 2 weeks ago

I doubt the overwhelming majority of the seat pissers are reading your comment.

[-] collapse_already@lemmy.ml 10 points 2 weeks ago

We had this problem in a communal bathroom in a dorm I lived in. People were practically coming to blows over it. Turns out that when the toilet flushed, it would spray piss up out of the bowl onto the seat. We all thought it was someone else, but it was really every one of us inadvertently.

[-] OrteilGenou@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago

A likely story, seat pisser. J'ACCUSE!

[-] DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world 9 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

How about when there's that bit of filth at the back, center you know came from their ass crack?

It's even worse when you know who it is, because now it's like you have x-ray vision to their ass crack.

[-] RedEyeFlightControl@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago

People are required to wipe down sweaty gym equipment, they should also be required to wipe down the shitter. IDK why this isn't a thing.

[-] InvalidName2@lemmy.zip 6 points 2 weeks ago

This is why I piss into the sink instead. And since I didn't have to touch any surfaces beside my own wiener, I don't even have to worry about washing my hands.

[-] benderbeerman@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago

I work at a place with a lot of people from southeast Asia. It is not uncommon to be in a stall and look over to see the feet of someone stepping into the next stall just disappear as they approach the crapper.

I don't mind them standing on the seat to squat, but for the love of humanity, please clean up the fucken mess afterwards!

Also, our toilets flush pretty assertively and often they will splash up dirty water from the toilet bowl onto the seat and floor as the auto-flush unleashes.

The weird one is the guy who uses it as a fucken bidet... like, Bruh. Nasty.

[-] Kolanaki@pawb.social 5 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

I usually sit to pee; but since there's piss on the seat, I stand and end up contributing more piss to the already pissy seat. It's a vicious cycle of piss.

[-] SreudianFlip@sh.itjust.works 10 points 2 weeks ago

Just lift the fuckin seat to pee then omg

Use your foot for that if you have to

[-] corsicanguppy@lemmy.ca 3 points 2 weeks ago

Just lift the fuckin seat to pee then omg

Use your foot for that if you have to

  1. wipe seat. It's fine.
  2. If you're at a seat, be seated; standing is over there.
  3. wash hands like silkwood after

Is this only trivial for gen-X?

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[-] Zomg@piefed.world 4 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Dont look up the Yellow Pee Pee Monster.

Sorry in advance. lf I have to be aware he existed, you do too

[-] Tollana1234567@lemmy.today 4 points 2 weeks ago

or shit on the toilet seat, or the walls.

[-] SayJess@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

The restrooms at my workplace can get down right nasty. We get a ton of temp workers (I started out as a temp), and they are given very short breaks from the assembly line. At least 20% do not wash their hands. People carry on phone conversations and scroll TikTok in the stalls. The seats, after their breaks, are usually pretty gross. The floors around the toilets get very gross by the end of their shift.

I loathe that spironolactone makes me thirsty, and in turn makes me need to urinate somewhat often. My hovering game is on point though.

[-] theuniqueone@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 2 weeks ago

I don't care about others why should I care when I'll never have to clean or use that toilet again. /s

[-] HubertManne@piefed.social 3 points 2 weeks ago

For using the stalls to pee sometimes the urinals are full. As to why I know my wife says im one of the few men who don't leave piss on the toilet. So apparently its common. Not talking just the seat here but the bowl when the seat is up. Like the bowl rim that is parralellel to the floor so it will just sit there and be all. ewwww.

[-] HobbitFoot@thelemmy.club 2 points 2 weeks ago

Maybe, but I'm also seeing more men going straight to the toilet stall to pee even though there are several urinals open. And even then, they should lift the seat.

[-] HubertManne@piefed.social 4 points 2 weeks ago

yeah thats kinda wierd. maybe they are shy although then I can't imagine what they do at a ballpark.

[-] DrunkAnRoot@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 weeks ago

I avoid public bathrooms for this reason

[-] southsamurai@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 weeks ago

For them what have need to cope with this and no choice about needing to sit.

A small baggie with some surface wipes and some gloves will fit in most pockets with ease. Ideal, no. But it'll get you by for a non optional visit to a public (or badly kept private) toilet

[-] ExperimentalGuy@programming.dev 2 points 2 weeks ago

This is why I piss in the back tank of the toilet, so the next person peeing never thinks it flushed.

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this post was submitted on 15 Aug 2026
167 points (97.2% liked)

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