Speaking loosely, I'm generally attracted to some aspects of femininity and repulsed by some aspects of masculinity.

Did a bit of digging as Omnisexual did not seem quite right.

But your post deserves a much deeper dig, just starting with the above for exploratory purposes.

Firstly, and alongside what I put above, I see you wrote:

the s[a]me characteristics I'm attracted to and repulsed by are correlated to sex.

I want to remind that you are valid and anyone who thinks otherwise can paw grass and come back when they learn a thing or two. There is nothing wrong with Aesthetic Attraction even when it comes in the form of the line crossing I originally offered above. Even as an AroAce I have some Aesthetic Attraction to certain femcoded and certain masccoded characteristics(an aside, but smash or pass "really tells you a lot about yourself"(thanks Dan Avidan)). I see what I see, and that does not usually involve down below(nor do I want it to, bluntly speaking).

is it even my business? [about someone else' gender]

To be honest, no. But on that same token, preferences are preferences, and some may not typically vibe with one who is Enby even if they are aesthetically pleasing, or someone femcoded or otherwise. Our identities, while personal, play a part in our experiencing of the world and our engagement with others. I do think you are overthinking this particular point though, as I have noticed throughout the thread. Let me ask pointedly, since you specifically gave clearance: what are you looking for in a partner? And I know that question has baggage strapped to it, but my point asking is that you seem hung up on the details of the ether while not first answering as to your inner want. If I may be so bold, you really do seem to be a Femcoded Rosetic. You are constantly mentioning a yearning towards the Femcoded, and expressly mention a Masccoded Repulsion unmentioned the other way-round. Which speaking of:

I only like cute men, but a woman doesn't have to be cute for me to like them.

I ask solely for clarity: What exactly do you mean here? What does cute mean to you? I think that will help your inner-answer.

To go back a bit:

I worry they'd see that as me ignoring their gender, or they may even mistake me for trans chaser.

The fact you are concerned about it is heartwarming. The song featuring Gumi is well-beloved for a reason on that subject. The reality is, is that you like what you like, and even if your exact way of describing it is sub-par, if you find yourself attracted to somebody, you tell them straight: "I do not have the right words, but what I do know is that you are you, and that is what matters in this moment." Chasers specifically hunt our Trans family members for their own fetish pleasures, genuine people come to peace in themselves and open their heart to another. If someone mistakes it and communication cannot solve it, then even a friendship would have never worked out. One has to be willing to talk but also be willing to listen.

That basically sums up the meat of your post, I do hope some of this possibly helped, and if you wish to answer anything I put or provide extra details, I am all for talking. Messaging is open too, feel free.

On one final point:

I've heard that trans people may interpet my use of neutral pronouns for them as invalidating

Yes. Yes some do. I would offer though that if they mind enough, a gentle correction of "I prefer XYZ instead," suffices. It is not a faux pas to err on the attempt to be respectful. In some cultures that is considered the default. See: -san . I would opine(with the important caveat that I am not Trans) it is far more hurtful to be unintentionally misgendered than for someone to neutrally refer to them, even though some do so in a demeaning way. Words are powerful, but open communication is the key to wielding them in ways of harmony.

No label really describes my experience well, so I just call myself queer.

A "label" is just a succinct set of words we use to briefly describe our gender, sexuality, and any of the other facets of the experience we know as life. I don't think most people fit 100% neatly into the arbitrary boxes that we use, so don't worry about getting it perfectly right.

As long as people can understand the gist of what you want them to know, that's good enough. And feel free to be more or less specific with different groups. Among more queer groups, I'm pan; among more cishet groups I'm bi because that requires less explanation.

I think you’re getting too caught up labels. Use them when they’re useful, but don’t be eager to put yourself or others in a box.

Focus on the people you find attractive and worry less about “what” that makes you.

Maybe the crux of the isssue is, nobody wants to be found attractive for features they don't enjoy having. So, if you're attracted by the (culturally defined) feminine traits of a guy who is enacting those traits intentionally, I don't think they would mind. I think you can often tell when a guy, cis or trans, is intentionally leaning into a feminine trait, because they'll do things to accentuate that feature. And someone might say they can't help being attracted by another person's unwanted traits, but I think that once you can tell that someone is trying to keep attention away from that trait, basic empathy ought to sour that attraction for most people?

Hi! Just going to address a couple points since I'm honestly not too familiar with the intracancies of sexual orientation and gender identities and the crossover in between. What I can speak to, as a trans woman, is my interpretation of trans invalidation. My first point is to be careful in using trans as an adjective instead of a noun. You typed "transwoman" and "transman" several times and that is incorrect. I am a woman who is trans and I am also tall. You wouldn't call me a "tallwoman", since tall is a descriptor. It's a minor distinction grammar wise but i think most trans people are sensitive to it.

Second, you mentioned being afraid of accidentally invalidating trans people by using gender neutral terms as a default. I think this is something that is highly variable person to person. I would personally rather get referred to with gender neutral pronouns than the wrong ones, but it does make me upset that my gender expression is ambiguous enough that it makes folks question. I would much rather be gendered correctly from the get go, but that is asking for a lot of guess work from strangers. On the other hand, if someone has made you aware of their preferred pronouns, still using gender neutral ones is very invalidating in my opinion.

Hope this helps!

if you are looking for a label describing who you are attracted to, i would lean toward pansexual. but in reality, i think you are overthinking it. the traditional "hey you're cute, wanna hang out?" is universally appreciated if the attraction is mutual. you dont have to start with a list of your preferences :)

Transbian?