Time.

I don’t have great advice, it isn’t even really mental health advice, but maybe it helps a little.

I think it’s perfectly okay that a relationship can end when it completes its natural course, but that’s still always difficult.

People always have a lot of room to grow, so hopefully both of you learned about yourselves and your wants and needs. Sometimes our idea of ourselves doesn’t match our actions, like your ex’s not being the humanitarian you both thought. Hopefully in time they can see that and improve.

One thing that’s important I think is to try and remember the relationship as a whole, the good and the bad, what did you feel, what did you learn. I don’t think you ever get “over” a relationship, your feelings change over time, but it still holds meaning for you. You have to find the balance between mourning what was and moving forward with life though.

Don’t rush trying to get over your ex, don’t try and move on to another relationship or something just to get back in to it. Don’t rush out try to fill that affection hole that’s been left either — even awful people can give affection, so don’t let it be a blind spot.

After the big relationships in my life ended I tried dating again, a lot. I didn’t realize until I hit a low point that I was dating just to date and replace the relationship and fill that gap. I thought I was just looking for the one, it was good intentions, but inside I wasn’t balanced. At one point I swore off dating and decided I wanted to be with me for a bit, which ultimately was good for me and my confidence, and that led to me meeting my wife.

We’ve been together for almost 15 years now and I’m still learning about myself and relationships, and how to be a team, and what I want. Every year I learn more. Never stop growing or trying to learn about yourself. Rushing keys you mask over doing that.

I don't have more advice to offer, just wanted to say I'm sending love and hugs 🫂

The pain of relationships that aren't anymore teaches a lot of things we need to learn, but that doesnt make it easy. When my first adult relationship fell apart dramatically it felt like my whole world was ending. It was terrifying.

But time keeps passing. You learn from what wasnt good about the relationship. You learn from what brought you joy in it. And you keep meeting new people and life keeps shifting and changing, and eventually the pain of the relationship ending is distant and healed over.

Just keep treating yourself and your emotions with care :) 🫂

Take your time and use that time to feel and think about relationships, about the one that is over now, and about the relationship you want and that nourishes you and your potential partner(s). Slow healing allows for deeper reconciliation with yourself.

I wish you all the best.

Time and working on yourself.

I got deep and heavy into home labbing when my long term partner broke up with me.

Also picked up film photography