192

Two-thirds of straight women and one-third of straight men are unwilling to date a bisexual person of the opposite sex, according to a YouGov poll published today, during Bisexuality Visibility Week. The poll illustrates how lingering stereotypes negatively affect people’s impressions of bisexual individuals.

The poll — which surveyed 5,983 Britons during late March, including 2,031 straight women and 1,517 straight men — found that 48% of all respondents had positive views of bisexual people and only 8% had negative views. The remaining percentage had neither a positive nor a negative view of bisexuals.

...

When the survey asked straight women and men why they were unwilling to date a bisexual person of the opposite sex, most (16% and 19%, respectively) said they “just don’t” or claimed, “It’s just a preference.”

A nearly similar portion, 17% of straight women and 16% of straight men, said they felt like bi people are more inclined to cheat, or that they themselves would feel insecure that they’d be unable to provide a bi partner whatever they get from a same-sex partner.

Interestingly, 9% of straight women said they feel disgust or discomfort towards men with same-sex experiences, 8% worried about possible sexual health risks, and 10% of straight men said they considered bisexuality to be either religiously or morally “wrong.” Approximately 12-13% of all straight respondents said they just wanted their dating partner to be heterosexual.

top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top new old
[-] Bougie_Birdie@piefed.blahaj.zone 123 points 1 month ago

I remember when I was a teen trying to figure myself out I came out to my parents as gay and they were supportive. But eventually I had a couple of girlfriends and after I had brought one of them home mom told me I should pick one team and stick with it because bi guys are icky.

She said it in such an offhand way that she probably doesn't remember, but that's the kind of thing that sticks with you. She believed that bisexual men were willing to fuck anything without standards which would lead to me being either deranged or diseased.

Joke's on her though: I'm so bad at picking teams I didn't even grow up to be a man

[-] velma@sh.itjust.works 55 points 1 month ago

“Pick a team” …..ugh I’m so sorry she was so flippant during such a formable time in your life.

Had a good laugh at your last line though :)

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] velma@sh.itjust.works 71 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

I’ve observed this in some women’s groups over time - this aversion to bisexual men - and it’s always so disappointing to see it come up. There are women I’ve had to pull away from because of these views that bisexual men are somehow tainted or too feminine or whatever flavor of homophobic reasons they use to reject people based on an immutable trait.

[-] CyanideShotInjection@lemmy.world 62 points 1 month ago

There is so much internalized biphobia in our society. A lot of men sexualize bi women and think dating one means they will get threesomes. On the other side, a lot of women are convinced that bi men are twice as likely to cheat, or that they will eventually leave you for a man. And this kind of biphobia is present as well within the LGBTQ+ community, this is not inherent to straight people.

[-] velma@sh.itjust.works 48 points 1 month ago

You’re right, biphobia is not found in straight people alone. I’ve been rejected within my own community because I’m bisexual and not a “gold star” lesbian. It stings even more that way to be honest.

[-] mortemtyrannis@lemmy.ml 8 points 1 month ago

Don’t forget they also think bi men are just making a stop before getting off at full-on-gay town.

[-] cinoreus@lemmy.world 15 points 1 month ago

And what sucks is I've seen multiple times, men are generally more guilty of their homophobic views than women. Women will show a surface level support(most men don't do that) but they are almost as homophobic, and blatantly so when given a chance to open up.

[-] velma@sh.itjust.works 9 points 1 month ago

I'm not sure men feel more guilty about their homophobic views, they're just more upfront about them lol

Yes, it is distressing to join up with other women thinking they are a safe space and come to find out they hold beliefs that are inherently biphobic. Even if they feel like their views only extend to bisexual men, it does extend to all bisexuals.

[-] cinoreus@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

It's that men generally exaggerate their homophobia to fit in groups, whereas women hide theirs better till they're in places where they feel their views would go unchallenged. Also yeah, comparing men's homophobia and women's is comparing apples to oranges.

It's like, they are more guilty, but they better be for the kind of shit they've said.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (18 replies)
[-] RoddyStiggs@lemmy.blahaj.zone 41 points 1 month ago

Any bisexual man knows this. Painfully.

[-] samus12345@sh.itjust.works 39 points 1 month ago

I never understood the bi hate. Even before I ever met a bi person, it seemed easy to understand - they're sexually attracted to either gender. Whether or not someone is a cheater type is completely separate and has nothing to do with it.

For real. It's like saying people who like all hair colours are gonna cheat because their partner has only one hair colour. It's just not how that works.

—A poly bi woman

load more comments (3 replies)
[-] NOPper@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Maybe its insecurity wrapped up with thinking sex is the main driver in a relationship, and thinking a partner could have twice as many options that aren't you makes them feel even worse. I dunno.

load more comments (4 replies)
[-] Kacarott@aussie.zone 10 points 1 month ago

I think some people see cheating as not an attribute of the cheater, but rather an attribute of the person they cheat with. As in, they think that anyone would cheat if a sufficiently attractive person came along. And thus for bi people the chance is twice as high.

On the other hand, if you managed to get in a relationship with a bi person, shouldn't you feel doubly confident, since you were chosen from twice as large a pool?

Eh, I don't get it either

[-] crazyminner@lemmy.ml 33 points 1 month ago

Bi people are some of the coolest people I know. Their loss, more for us.

[-] clay_pidgin@sh.itjust.works 32 points 1 month ago

Straight guy here from /all. Unfortunately, a big chunk of my cohort will have responded favorably because they are dreaming of a female partner that will gift them a threesome.

[-] velma@sh.itjust.works 15 points 1 month ago

And they, too, are engaging in biphobia with that logic.

load more comments (61 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[-] ThirdConsul@lemmy.zip 28 points 1 month ago

I am not surprised.

The narrative that women are less homophobic than men never made any sense to me, because why would they?

That claim always - to me - seemed to be stereotyping women into sacred princesses who shit rainbows and fart breeze.

load more comments (5 replies)
[-] lonefighter@sh.itjust.works 19 points 1 month ago

I'm a straight woman who very briefly dated a bi guy. I never cared. It felt like none of my business who he had been with before me. He was an absolute sweetheart, and I miss him dearly.

[-] untropvertimide@piaille.fr 10 points 1 month ago

@lonefighter @velma
"It felt like none of my business who he had been with before me."
True, that's private stuff. Only parts of it that may be important to share are those that will objectively impact the relationship. (Stalker ex, for example.)

Also to add for others, being bi does not mean having a sexual history with partners of at least two genders. It does not even mean having any sexual history at all.

I felt compelled to add this to account for bi erasure.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (4 replies)
[-] tacosanonymous@lemmy.blahaj.zone 19 points 1 month ago

I thought the whole point of this last decade+ is that people should take what they can get.

Oh wait, I forgot about the homophobic propaganda.

load more comments (2 replies)

This is especially interesting when you consider that a lot of people are on the bi spectrum. Straights who think gays can "choose" to be straight? Mkay, keep telling us how you're choosing to ignore that your gay desires.

[-] Not_mikey@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 1 month ago

This is probably one of the reasons for that. If you're 90% hetero why "taint" yourself by experimenting if that's going to limit your dating pool for the gender you're more interested in.

[-] alapakala@quokk.au 13 points 1 month ago

something about the numbers didn't make sense, until

The survey also included 824 gay men, 349 lesbian women, 396 bisexual men, and 866 bisexual women, and asked them about their willingness to date a bisexual person matching their preferred gender.

Sorry your sample sizes are extremely skewed, I will read this as ptooey.
wanted to comment on monogamists, seeing as Maeve🧵 proved some folks do have polyphobia, but the sample sizes are too weird to account any real conclusions, I won't.

load more comments (7 replies)
[-] CrimeIsLegalNow@ani.social 13 points 1 month ago

It's nice when the trash sorts itself though.

[-] Allero@lemmy.today 10 points 1 month ago

I think one of the contributing factors must be the deeply ingrained traditional relationship roles reinforced by culture.

Men often care more about "proxy" contacts (i.e. "my girl fucked with another man some time in the past, ew"), which is how we got so much virginity culture and all the unscientific bullshit around past contacts of women. They are also often easier to feel sexual about any given woman, and many want, secretly or openly, to have sex with many, either genuinely or as an internalized proof of superior masculinity.

Combine the two and you may get one of the answers. Some men enjoy having sex with their girl partner knowing she had engaged in it with other girls, that fuels their fantasies based on that "proxy sex" with other women, and there may also be fantasies about this arrangement turning into threesome.

At the same time, women are traditionally taught to laser-focus on a partner and keep them laser-focused on them, and so bisexuality feels like a man's excuse to slip from these norms and claim it's not the same. It's also fueled by misconception that bisexual people necessarily need partners of both genders at the same time instead of them just having a larger pool to choose from.

[-] Smaile@lemmy.ca 9 points 1 month ago

What they worried they're gonna cheat on them or something? A straight guy could do that too

load more comments (2 replies)
[-] ILikeTraaaains@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago

When I was at my university’s last year I had a FWB relation with a woman from my class.

One day I was venting about my lack of success on online dating apps and asked her to review my profile.

After reviewing it she said “You should remove that you’re bi, it is not serious”, like I wasn’t looking for a proper relationship.

I had it in my profile for starters after people matching with me and later rejecting when they learned I was Bi.

load more comments
view more: next ›
this post was submitted on 23 Sep 2026
192 points (98.0% liked)

LGBTQ+

5021 readers
3 users here now

founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS