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submitted 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) by Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com to c/yepowertrippinbastards@lemmy.dbzer0.com

The post in question

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[-] sundray@lemmus.org 80 points 6 days ago

Mod posted a response: https://lemmy.world/post/52564578

I have recently received some feedback about including sexuality as a topic for dad jokes. Although it was not the most constructive of feedback, some points were made. Sex as a topic is not the same as sexuality, and I apologize for not making that distinction clearer. I was basing my moderating on what was being reported and sex being a topic as understood for children closer to puberty, although sexuality such as LGBTQ+ parents/partners/people can be understood much earlier. While I stand by still keeping actual sexual themes (anatomy, sex positions, etc.) as an off-limits topic for the community, sexuality seems reasonable to include.

This community is not static; I want to do my best to maintain a place that can grow with the community while staying true as a place for humor in a world that has plenty of unpleasant things. I am not a bot, and am indeed a person that is open to having respectful discussions.

Tell me what you think should and should not be included as “off limits topics.” Should profanity be allowed, or possibly only certain words? Are there other suggestions you have? I will try to look at the common themes from any feedback and apply them over the next two weeks or so.

[-] treesapx@lemmy.world 66 points 6 days ago

As far as mod responses go, that's pretty dang good. For as much as we complain about bad mods we should applaud the good.

[-] Flatworm7591@lemmy.dbzer0.com 23 points 6 days ago

Fully agree. It's a great example of how to respond to criticism constructively. The Piefed developers should take notes, lol.

[-] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 14 points 6 days ago

I posted a response in the thread 🙂

[-] SCmSTR@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

This person believes in abstinence

Also, did they unban the post? Or is this just damage control?

[-] alapakala@quokk.au 13 points 6 days ago

rare admission of guilt.
hopefully that community learns to read reports, and the actual contents before hitting the «Remove Post/Comment»

Generally, I find communicating with the reported on gets better intersection and solidarity than outright deletion. (Good faith moderation vs Report->Remove)

[-] TrackenDaKracken@lemmy.world 7 points 6 days ago

Sex as a topic is not the same as sexuality

So much willful ignorance around this by people who just want to virtue signal to their peers.

[-] rumba@lemmy.zip 6 points 6 days ago

That is a fantastic response. Bravo. Stuff like that is what keeps us from becoming another Reddit shit hole.

[-] JcbAzPx@lemmy.world 19 points 6 days ago

Someone needs to tell that mod that dad jokes aren't for the kids.

[-] njm1314@lemmy.world 21 points 6 days ago

If your 5-year-old can't understand someone being gay then you're a shit parent.

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[-] chewypoops@lemmy.world 23 points 6 days ago

Do we know what mod made this very homophobic decision, because I would like to know that they've been banned for this.

[-] Axolotl_cpp@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

Ignoring that the avarage age of lemmy could be 25 up to 35 years

but sexuality not until closer to puberty

I'd say that a kid would understand sexuality better "look, they just love eachothers" vs "they are male but with a female body" or sum

[-] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 5 days ago

Ignoring that the avarage age of lemmy could be 25 up to 35 years

I think it's actually much higher.

This is admittedly purely anecdotal and your mileage may thus vary, but in my experience as an elder millennial, most people here are around my age or older 🤷🏻

[-] Axolotl_cpp@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 5 days ago

Yeah but not all people, it's an avarage so it will naturally be lower

[-] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 5 days ago

If most people here are my age or older, it follows that the average must be younger? 🤔

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[-] melsaskca@lemmy.ca 15 points 6 days ago

"Of course their gonna know what intercourse is by the time they hit fourth grade, they got the discovery channel, don't they?". In most situations like this, pre-internet, your older cousins would say "You'll find out when you're older".

[-] kepix@lemmy.world 12 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

so a teenager's dad cannot crack dad jokes anymore?

[-] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 6 days ago

I bet a lot of teenagers going through the "my parents are the most cringetastic creatures in existence" phase would love for that to be the case 😁

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[-] Gpennyhigh@lemmy.world 17 points 6 days ago

One thing that everyone should learn in sex ed is the Kinsey scale 0-6, and bisexual is 1-5 on the scale, so that's most of the scale. Most people don't know this and if they do, most won't admit the same gender attraction. Even in generally decent marriages to the opposite gender, they never know each other fully. Some might confuse that as choosing to be "straight" but they are still Kinsey 4 or whatever, and should not be resentful of people who chose both ways or not marriage. They should support equal rights too. It's all good whatever number people are, be free!

[-] HerbGrower@slrpnk.net 6 points 6 days ago

Isn't that scale pretty limited though, it doesn't consider the difference between romantic and sexual attraction. Eg, desperately want to guzzle cock but can only love a woman. Basically the stereotype of republican conferences crashing grindr.

[-] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

Now that you mention it: if we get married, my partner will totally be able to tell people "I'm not straight but my husband is" if anyone asks her. She'd love that and so would I 😄🥰

[-] Nangijala@feddit.dk 10 points 6 days ago

Clean jokes only please. If you cannot tell this joke to a 5-year-old and they can understand, you probably shouldn’t post it here. Please post edgier jokes to: !unclejokes@lemmy.world

I suppose this is the rule the mod refers to.

And well, I feel like there is a bit of a mix up going on here because the rule implies filthy jokes as well as jokes that go over the head of a 5 year old, which are two different things, but here are treated as the same.

In this case, I completely agree that your joke more than likely would go over the head of a five year old because the concept of bisexuality might not be somethingt a five year old has been exposed to yet and even if they have, they may not understand the punchline as it is a bit high brow for their age group.

However, it's not a flithy joke and the implications of this rule is super unfortunate.

I also think that if I had been the mod in this instance, I would've not given a single fuck that you made a joke that was a bit more high brow than the average dad joke. If I may pretend for a second, that was a particularly nitpicky mod, I would have made a comment mentioning this rule and started a discussion with you and the other users to find out whether or not the joke was too clever for a five year old or if other people in the comments could attest to their five year olds being able to get the joke or not. That way it becomes a productive community discussion rather than a shut down.

I think that would have been a much better approach, tbh, rather than deleting it. No matter what the subject matter is, if it is this harmless, I don't think it's appropriate for a mod to start deleting things. It creates a bad atmosphere and insecurity in a community when people can't express themselves in good faith without getting punished.

Your joke should not have been deleted imo.

[-] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

. If I may pretend for a second, that was a particularly nitpicky mod, I would have made a comment mentioning this rule and started a discussion with you and the other users to find out whether or not the joke was too clever for a five year old or if other people in the comments could attest to their five year olds being able to get the joke or not. That way it becomes a productive community discussion rather than a shut down.

I agree, and that's actually what the mod did after seeing the post (it's the announcement pinned to the top of !dadjokes@lemmy.world). Turns out they were much more reasonable than I gave them credit for and also restored the post after the community agreed that it shouldn't have been deleted 😁

, I don't think it's appropriate for a mod to start deleting things. It creates a bad atmosphere and insecurity in a community when people can't express themselves in good faith without getting punished.

I agree. Speaking of which, do you know if mods and/or admins have the ability to move posts to other communities? I've had so many posts deleted due to mods thinking another community is a better fit and would much rather they move it lol

[-] Nangijala@feddit.dk 3 points 6 days ago

Oh, I'm glad to hear that everything was solved peacefully! 🤗

Speaking of which, do you know if mods and/or admins have the ability to move posts to other communities?

As far as I know, I don't think they do. I am a mod in a couple of small communities and it doesn't seem like I have the power to move posts around.

All we can do as either mods or regular users is try and help and guide one another so that we make posts in the appropriate communities moving forward and not start deleting posts left and right. That's at least how I prefer to do things. I know rules and temperments are very different from place to place and I find that way too many communities and mods are too trigger happy over too little which creates very negative, short fused atmospheres whwre everybody becomes a rapid dog who assumes ill intent everytime and all the time. It is a shame. It ruins too many communities and I prefer that situations like the one you were just in, will be solved as peacefully as possible so that everybody can remain friendly and trusting. It's a much healthier environment <3

[-] southsamurai@sh.itjust.works 13 points 6 days ago

I'm not going to go as far as PTB. There's no out of scale action, the removal was in good faith, and the mod has been consistent in their moderation.

This is, however, clueless mod territory. It's bad application of a rule done in ignorance. It isn't okay, it shouldn't have been removed.

No power trip, just a bad decision, and there is a difference between the two

[-] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 12 points 6 days ago

Having seen the mod's reply post in the community, I'm inclined to agree with you on all points tbh..

[-] AnarchistArtificer@lemmy.world 3 points 5 days ago

I've known what lesbians were for as long as I can remember, because I have an auntie who was in a civil partnership with another woman. Apparently when it was explained to me in basic terms (after I had asked what a lesbian was, as I'd overheard it), I was just like "oh, okay." and went back to playing. Kids are better at understanding this stuff than we give them credit for

[-] sundray@lemmus.org 12 points 6 days ago

the topic of sexuality

where?

[-] glimse@lemmy.world 7 points 6 days ago

A reasonable reason to remove it was because it's not a dad joke. A funny joke, but not a dad joke

[-] bitjunkie@lemmy.world 4 points 6 days ago

While I somewhat agree, that wasn't the reason given.

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[-] Snapz@lemmy.world 12 points 6 days ago

Times to play "check that mod's hard drive"

[-] Souvenir@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 6 days ago

Bigotry.

PTB

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this post was submitted on 30 Sep 2026
529 points (95.5% liked)

Ye Power Trippin' Bastards

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