this post was submitted on 26 Dec 2023
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Almost all my life I've absolutely despised children. Pretty much from the moment I stopped being a child I've hated being around children.

It doesn't even matter what the child is doing. Whether they're laughing and having fun or screaming and throwing a tantrum. The sound of a child being loud activates an almost primal rage that I can barely contain.

I've had to leave social gatherings/restaurants/grocery stores all because if I'd stayed I'd have made a complete ass of myself by screaming at a child just for existing.

It's even worse with infants which makes me feel horrible because I know they can't help it. I know the kids don't know any better and it's our job as adults to get them through childhood, but my blood boils when they get loud or demand attention.

Has anyone else dealt with something like this? Is there anything I can do to stop from getting so angry?

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[–] lightnsfw@reddthat.com 9 points 11 months ago

My brother's wife bought me a set of earplugs that deaden sound but still let you hear. These have greatly increased the amount of time I can be around children before it starts stressing me out. To the point that I don't mind going over there at all anymore and they have 3 kids in a small house. The brand is Loop but their may be other brands that are the same thing. Its like an earbud with a metal ring attached to it. They also help with other noise induced stress that I have.

[–] NevermindNoMind@lemmy.world 8 points 11 months ago

I'm curious, how do you feel about being around drunk people while you are sober? Is the problem the children themselves, or is being around someone who is loud, obnoxious, and self centered (which I think describes both children and drunk people).

I'm general, my main advice would be to look into yourself to see what specifically is bothering you and why. That's basically what I assume a therapist would do. Maybe it's something like your own need for attention causes feelings of resentment when someone else is demanding attention. Maybe it's just the loud noises kids make. If it's the kids themselves and not their noise and self-centered attitude, maybe the root is something related to kids resurfacing your own childhood memories/trauma. Once you identify the root of the problem, maybe you can start working toward letting whatever it is go, or at least recognizing in the moment that your not angry at the kid, your angry at whatever issue in yourself you've identified. Understanding what is going on in your own head might at least keep you from screaming at the kid.

I don't know anything though, just a stranger spouting off, so please take this with a giant grain of salt. A professional therapist would obviously be better, but I understand from your other responses that might not be practical for you.

[–] HubertManne@kbin.social 8 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Goosfraba. seriously though I don't think there can be anything you do but remove yourself from the area unless they are your children. Its sorta funny but I was a way quite kid but I generally get kids. Its like dogs wanting to play. They just want to play. cyring and its like a dog wimpering. somethings wrong. Granted I have no kids and I don't go out of my way to wrangle other folks but it never really bothers me.

[–] PlutoniumAcid@lemmy.world 7 points 11 months ago (3 children)

What's that first word mean?

[–] corsicanguppy@lemmy.ca 5 points 11 months ago

Goosfraba

That's an important question.

a quite kid

cyring

somethings

But, can we get these ones checked too?

[–] TheImpressiveX@lemmy.ml 5 points 11 months ago

Goosfraba is a traditional tribal term of Northern-American indigenous tribes, that is used in testious situations, with an aim to calm and ease the mind from stress and to prevent other negative effects.

https://digitalcultures.net/slang/goosfraba/

[–] HubertManne@kbin.social 5 points 11 months ago (1 children)

its from the movie anger management and sorta a joke but it only makes sense if you saw the movie.

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[–] elk@kbin.social 8 points 11 months ago (7 children)
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[–] Tarquinn2049@lemmy.world 8 points 11 months ago

My sister has it too, her misophonia makes her dramatically more sensitive to any higher pitched sounds. And her borderline personality disorder combines to translate that annoyance directly into anger. She can still hang out with kids if they are being calm and quiet. But it's risky. The kids know that when she gets mad it wasn't their fault. They seem to handle it well, but we'll only really know in time. They currently still enjoy hanging out with her, so that's a positive sign.

If you have the same thing, as far as I know there is no way to stop it. But cbt(cognitive behavioral therapy) and things like that can help you be more present and mindful while experiencing those effects. Generally enough to prevent unwanted explosions and extricate yourself to a more comfortable environment to calm down over time.

[–] zanyllama52@infosec.pub 8 points 11 months ago (3 children)

Have you ever spent any one-on-one time having fun with a kid?

[–] _g_be@lemmy.world 12 points 11 months ago

Yeah and now I have to go door to door to let my neighbors know about how great a time it was

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[–] Witchfire@lemmy.world 8 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

I am exactly the same as you. I've stopped caring, neither me nor my friends have kids thankfully. But yeah the sound of kids crying or screaming or throwing a tantrum instantly hits a nerve in my head

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[–] lurch@sh.itjust.works 7 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Have you tried plugging your ears or using noise cancelling headphones?

[–] june@lemmy.world 6 points 11 months ago

Yea, can’t help but wonder if OP is neuro divergent and the sounds kids make is a trigger for misophonia.

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[–] MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca 7 points 11 months ago (1 children)

No judgement, just curious: I know it's more rare, but do you get the same visceral reaction to grown people throwing immature temper tantrums as well? Or is it limited to just the very young?

I just want to understand if this is more of a distaste for immaturity or if it's only the immaturity of the immature that's giving you that feeling.

I'm no fan of kids, but I don't get this kind of rage myself. I can dismiss myself from the situation long before I struggle with these kinds of feelings.

[–] rtxn@lemmy.world 5 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Not OP, but speaking for myself, I get a different reaction. Probably because they're an adult who should know better. When a child is being unbearable near me, my urge is to get the fuck out of that situation, whereas with an adult (or even a teenager) doing the same, I want to end the situation myself.

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[–] Kyre@kbin.social 5 points 11 months ago

I don't hate children but children under age 6-8 creep me out. I get a flight response when I am put into a situation where I have to be around a toddler or baby. I have always thought it was an uncanny valley thing though. As soon as they can make complete coherent sentences though, it's awesome. It's incredible to watch them learn, absorb, and have them experience new things.

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