Dads Only

Single father to a teen here.

Skin to skin contact. It's a great way to bond with your baby. Take your shirt off and hold them. Talk and sing to them.

Make sure you have plenty of diapers and wipes but don't buy too much of one size at one time. They grow fast! Also, learn what a blowout is if you don't know already.

Be ready for messes. On you, them, everywhere!

Take lots of photos and document milestones, silly moments, 1sts etc.

Be patient. There will be rough patches through their life but it's nothing you can't get through.

Keep up on Dr's visits and write a list of questions and concerns that aren't immediate so you don't forget.

Check out https://imaginationlibrary.com/ . Dolly Parton started this and they provide educational books from birth to 5 years old, free of charge.

These are 'later in life' things but useful nonetheless!

Take interest in anything they're interested in, even if they've already shown you 100 times before.

Always be honest and direct when asked questions because there will be a lot of questions. Some awkward, some silly, some that you may not know and will have to search for.

Teach them to communicate their feelings and how to deal with those feelings.

Teach them life skills early, such as cooking, cleaning etc

Someone else said it but I’m going to say it again because it’s a big deal. Read to your child every day. Seriously. Start super super early. Point to words as you are reading them.

Reading is the gateway to most other knowledge and the sooner you start and more of it you do, it makes a big difference. Some studies in the past (citation needed) have shown a link between the number of books around a child’s home and their intelligence.

If you need a minute, put them down somewhere safe, and take that minute. Sometimes the crying gets to you, and that’s OK too.

Father of a 2.5 yr old here ... Have a few friends who just had kids as well.. I told them the same shpiel

1. The next few months will be the toughest thing you ever go through (comparable to back to back all nighters in college, but this time it's for a few months)... Esp if you're working and don't have good paternity leave. But after you get over that hump. .... It gets a lot better and now you're in the club where everyone knows what you went through because they've been through it too.
2. If your/your partners parents are in the picture and offer to babysit. Take up the offer. Go have a date night with your partner... It'll relieve a lot of stress
3. If you live in a decent area, go for walks with the little one as often as you can. (in a bassinet/stroller obviously)
4. If you're in a western country... If you ever feel like you're doing too little, the littlest amount of effort on your part gets much more props than the amount of effort. Just being there for your new kid and changing every 10th diaper is doing better than 60% of dads out there.
5. Everyone, and I mean everyone, has amnesia about the next 6ish months. They'll say things like "why are you so tired? I don't understand!" Or "it wasn't that bad when we had kids".... It was. They just blocked it out
6. When the kid gets off milk, any spices yall use usually in cooking. Or just generally like that aren't spicy. Expose it to them ASAP. It does wonders for their pallet and they'll be less picky in a few years
7. Both you and your partner are stressed. You will fight and hate each other. Don't make any big life decisions for the next few months.

Hope this helps... Enjoy the journey.

Be fooled and let them have their harmless lies. Otherwise you train them to be good liars.

Not sure if it's boy or girl but girl dad checking in here...

My daughter's are 7, 4 and 3. As they get older, not unlike boys they start to develop interests and likes which usually is largely impacted by the parents. My buddies have sons and I don't see a difference in the relationship other than my girls are more affectionate. I think it really comes down to parenting.

My 7 year old plays basketball and swims through our university and plays video games with me. Last year we built some yard games with lumber scraps. She used the drills while I used the saws.

My 4 year is starting to join in now too. Work to be done at the cottage? Guess who's now on my heels to help? She gets legitimately pissed if I go to home depot without her so I now have to schedule those trips while she's awake.

My 3 year old is exactly that. 3 years old, a tornado toddler and a bit of a bully. But I'm excited to see what she starts latching onto. She's already wanting to tag along to home depot although she's more of the cuddle and read a book type (someone else said read to them everyday, highly recommended)

At the end of the day, I think girls / boys doesn't really matter too much. It's what you put into the relationship with them that matter most. I'd say it starts around the 2-3 year mark. Include them in everything you do.

On that note, I'm going to go downstairs and lift weights tomorrow morning with....you guessed it. All three of my girls. (I built them some wooden play weights that the little two use. My 7 year old is now old enough for 5's and cable machine as well as the play weights). Their attention span for lifting lasts like 3 minutes and then they go play. But they're not only allowed to be there, but encouraged to join me.

Your kids will benefit from the bonds you create with them from shared interests and spent time, not gender.

I've finally been able to get out the Lego I have been keeping since I was a kid and they love it. So much so 30% of Christmas gifts this year were Lego!

Take more pictures and videos than you think you should. Document everything, especially the mundane. You will never regret taking a video or photo. I have a 16 year old and time flies so fast, but we look back at the past with fondness. My wife and I were smugly talking (to each other, never brag to other parents) about how our son didn't have tantrums, until I found a video of him having one. You are so sleep deprived that you will forget a lot, but you can rely on the video evidence

Lots of great advice. The one I might add that we failed at miserably is understanding and appreciating mental health issues. I really recommend that you educate yourself and your partner on what to keep an eye out for and check in with your kids to see how they're doing.

Not now but later on please try and remember that when your kid fucks up, you will see YOUR flaws and not theirs, so be mindful of how you go about talking about it, discipline, punishment.

Spare clothes wherever are an absolute lifesaver.. spares for adults can also be very useful. Diaper bag, cars, etc.

Kid may appreciate a much louder noise than you'd think they would while sleeping. White noise machine or just a cellphone with something they find peaceful to sleep.

Kids absorb a ton, for our 3rd we implemented a lot of sign language and she communicates so much more than we realized at only 19 months (and since much earlier) which helps keep some frustration tantrums at bay.

Everyone will have advice, some is legitimately not applicable to you/your parenting style/who your child is/outdated. Just between my 3 they're so vastly different some things genuinely just wouldn't work for them all and it takes time to find what works whether it's food, clothing, room temps, etc.

read to them.. early and often. and when they're old enough, have them read to you.

1. everyone has opinions. Only your instincts are what matter for you and your family. Politely nod, internalize, synthesize against all your other inputs, and decide for yourself
2. wrt #1, you dont owe anyone shit
3. the days are long but the months and years are short. What seems like the hard part, is the important part, and it's fleeting from day one. Every second, your child is growing further from you from birth. Savor this
4. photos and videos. Tons. Non stop. You'll slow down organically. Lean in now
5. the only constant is change. A child is always growing as soon as you master one thing, you're learning the next whether it's diapers, eating, or opinions when they get older
6. it will get easier. Nobody tells you how hard it is, how lonely it gets in the beginning. It's not you. It's hard. But you can do this.
7. if the meal train hasn't left the station, prepare for existential dread around the time household hormones taper off. Everyone wants to see the newborn, but there's less help later when you actually need it
8. make life easy. Pay for help you can afford. Pre-Cut produce, delivery, prepared foods, bulk frozen, make it easy on yourself. This isn't forever. You deserve some grace
9. if baby is alive, it's going to be okay. That's your only job. Love the shit out of that little one and keep it alive, and you're succeeding
10. oxygen mask is real af. Hold it tight.

Here are my adds to the good advice already here. Don’t get too caught up with buying baby things. They grow fast and what they truly need is you, food, and sleep.

If you can afford the initial sped to get cloth diapers they are amazing and will save you and the planet a ton.

On that topic a blanket I the floor is the best changing table for money and safety. The kid can’t roll off the floor.

Be there to support the mother. This can be a difficult time especially if she is breastfeeding. Sleep will be difficult for both of you but especially for her.

Enable them to make all the mistakes they want. Protect them from making permanent mistakes.

Kids act up when they don't get enough attention.
When people are dying they regret not spending more time with their loved ones. No one's ever been proud of how much overtime they did on their deathbed

So much good advice! Thank you all so very much and I’ll try to keep it all in mind. I’m already in love and am still a bit giddy. I really appreciate all of the kind words.

If you play an instrument get the cheapest [instrument] shaped object you can. From 6 months to 4 your only practice time is while watching them in the tub, but you might destroy the insturment saving a drowning kid.

Some advice from a nurse when I had my last kid. "No child ever died from crying, if you need to walk away to take a breather"

Between my last 2 kids there were times where I did get angry trying to soothe them and when your sleep deprived it can be very dangerous.

If your wife is pumping breast milk and you need to warm it up every time you're feeding. I recommend a mini fridge and a bottle warmer combo in the room you're sleeping.

It can freeze the bags and get the next one ready.

You may experience dark thoughts at times, when things seem at their most hectic. This is normal, just don't follow through with them. Believe it or not, when all they do is cry, eat, poop, and sleep, it's the best time.

Soon as they can move freely, it can be hard to keep up. Soon as they can talk, they fight you on every. Little. Thing.

Treat your partner like royalty and do everything they need.

Best of luck from a father of a recently leveled up 4yo.

Sleep when you can.

https://youtu.be/BPGYMwnuihw?si=fYJCbi7qHqX_9QAF

Shit it's easier to clean than vomit, just saying