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populating c/humor daily with at least two memes/absurd pictures until i get bored or run out of them: day 3
(beehaw.org)
This is not absurd. It's everyday sulcata behaviour.
So the pet shop sells you a cute little hatchling tortoise. Twenty years in, he's the diameter of a large pizza, weighs about 75kg, and will plow his way through anything. If he wants in, good luck stopping him. And he's going to live for another 75 years.