Dungeons and Dragons

Barbagosh, know affectionately as Barb, is an elderly Half-Elf. She seems to be gaining powers of sorcery as quickly as she is losing her marbles. She comes from a fishing village known as Jigow, where she worked in the Unbroken Tusk Inn as a baker. She prided herself on making delicious pies, and resented that Agathe, her orc colleague, held the title for best pies in the city.

Barb is thought of in Jigow as a kind old lady who is everyone’s granny. A wise lady who could help with your garden, or baking tips, a mediator between feuding neighbours, an avid reader that had lots of knowledge of the local area, and a fabulous cook that could fix any problem with food. A few months ago however, she began to change. Working in the kitchen at the Inn, Barb was baking a delicious fish pie when she was unable to find her measuring spoons. She assumed that Zorgath, a cheeky orc child, had taken them for a game. Rifling through a drawer that had been jammed closed as long as she had worked there, Barb came across a set of wooden measuring spoons that seemed deceptively light. She continued baking the pie, and using the spoons, but began to feel ill. Cold to the touch, and pale, Barb went home early, forgetting the measuring spoons in her apron pocket. Overnight, Barb continued to grow weak and unwell, waking in the morning with barely a heartbeat, and a bluish tinge to her skin. Wearing the same clothing as the day before (unheard of for the meticulously clean woman), Barb left her house to head back to work. She did not greet the neighbours with her usual ,cheery smile, and did not respond to Zorgath, running up to her with a cheeky grin, holding out her beloved spoon set. Barb went through the motions of baking her fish pies, but each one was a little off. Instead of adding baking powder to the flour, she would add sugar, instead of water to make the gravy, she poured in vinegar. When Agathe appeared to begin her shift, she was shocked to see Barb placing the pie the gently in the oven using hands that were not hers. A spectral hand had appeared, that Barb seemed to be controlling, Barb was totally unresponsive.

The following day, Barb continued on her routine as normal. Walking to work, she greeted the neighbours cheerily. She play-acted the grumpy old lady with Zorgath as she gave back the stolen measuring spoons. She walked through the door of the Unbroken Tusk Inn and picked up her baking apron, ready to start her day. Agathe questioned Barb about what she had witnessed, but the old lady was confused and told Agathe she must be imagining things. Barb remembered feeling unwell and staying home from work, how could she have possibly been doing what Agathe was claiming?

As the weeks went on, these ‘funny spells’ as Barb refers to them, became more frequent, with the magic persona taking skillful control, while the non-magic persona became increasingly vague and confused. One day, Barb woke up on the back of a Horizonback Turtle, with no clear idea of how she got there, and nothing on her person, but a bit of gold and a set of bizarre measuring spoons that she didn’t remember owning. Barb had lost all memory of who she was, where she was from, but she knew one thing- she could do with a nice cup of tea.

TL;DR- A senile, but surprisingly powerful sorcerer who loves a cup of tea.

I am playing Arthur Cuddington, a 49 year old human man who until recently was a professor teaching the history of magic. He then had a mid-life crisis and decided to strike out as an adventuring wizard, enrolling as a studen in an academy for adventurers at which our current campaign takes place. He's a skinny and incredibly dorky dude, but he loves to tell the party fun historical facts about the regions we visit, which I make up with the help of ChatGPT.

I'm playing Laevyn Artoris. An Assimar Glory Paladin/Swords Bard. What started as an over the top, ham of a man bound by honor to carry a family sword that imprisons a Demon lord has evolved into a character that puts on a Glorious mask to cope with the impossible standards his father holds him to and his internal struggle with needing to feel useful to justify his place in the military.

For context: This campaign is set in Greek mythology years after the trojan war and a second kidnapping of Persephone has caused Demeter to cancel Spring again.

Meet Diomedes, the Unsung. He was a fearsome warrior and cunning strategist blessed by Athena herself in his prime years. Many of the great deeds attributed to other heroes (Oddyseus and Ajax for example) were his accomplishments, but success amplified his own hubris until the fateful day he offended Hera.

She sent her champions and creatures to smite Diomedes, but he bested them using his cunning. In the end he could not escape a curse causing him to be forgotten by any living being and that what he treasures the most (his glory) being given to others.

Being forgotten that way, Diomedes resigned himself to a peaceful, quiet and humble life watching over his descendants, who couldn't remember him.

And now with eternal winter looming he drags his old bones into the underworld to save his descendants (and by extension the world) from frozen misery.

Mechanically he is a Custom Linage (ambiguously human) Dirge Singer Bard (from Keith Baker's Exploring Eberron) with a reflavoured Strixhaven Student Background focused on supporting his unlikely comrades as much as possible. This old man has trouble hurting anyone by himself, but he is still a fierce and cunning commander.

The Dirge Singer Bard gets broad inspiration allowing him to inspire twice as many people at the cost of slower progression on the bardic inspiration dice. And at a higher level he can use his reaction to allow an inspired creature to make an additional attack.

Tarek is a half orc circle of stars druid, would use a stolen star map to perform astrology readings for townsfolk, really he was sneaking into their houses in wild shape and learning what he could about them ahead of time. One day he was performing a reading for a lord ahead of his wedding when Tarek had a vivid vision of the lord's gruesome future, in shock Tarek lost his words and the lord arrested him. Tarek is now imprisoned ready for the start of the campaign

E Li, a Warforged Artillerist Artificer with 6 wis who believes he is a Dwarf. His dwarf "father" named him "Yer eh liability, I'm turning ya off" (a sound byte whose semantic meaning E Li can't parse), so he goes by E Li for short. High Int and low Wis make for a fun RP, especially given sufficient Cha to play out some social skills.

Olivia of Hightower, Circle of Spores Druid who’s family and community is a Circle of Stars group but instead of partaking in Star study she went out foraging for mushrooms. As such she was a bit of a loner at Hightower.

One night her tower was attacked by Vampires and ultimately she too got bit, but when she did she was able to connect with the mycelium of the forest around her and it stopped the transformation halfway, leaving her a Dhampire. Now she seeks a cure and hopes to possibly save any of her family that is left that she can find.

Mine is Binky the Blemished, a butt-ugly gnome druid who is essentially a glorified livestock handler. He wears a mask because his face is so ugly it provokes a fear response from people, balanced out by Binky being a super-virgin. He has to roll a CON save if a female character ever touches him, and if he fails that save, he faints.

I really like Melvin!

Right now, I'm playing a changeling bard named Beer, in Ghosts of Saltmarsh. I went with the shadow touched feat and used magical secrets to access necromancy spells.

As a young changeling that did not have a home after being taken away from Khorvaire, he was raised by a family of halflings in Daggerford. Because of this he does not worship the Traveller like some other changelings. He learned at an early age to hide his true identity and to fit in as best he could. He noticed that most of the townfolk around him were happiest when they had beer, which is how he chose his name. Then again, what is a name but a collection of letters to remember a face? One without a face does not need such a thing. He learned quickly to have as many names and faces as he needed to get by.

The female halfling that raised him was a necromancer, so he learned early on that he had an interest in raising the dead. As a bard, it is useful to be able to raise your own audience at will, is it not?

He started performing at taverns in a way to both make money and learn about the people around him. He quickly realized this was his ticket to being "normal". He found himself as a crew member on a merchant ship and worked his up to be the sailor of a rickety old vessel. He sailed for freedom and stole what was needed to help his crew survive. His charisma and charm have certainly worked in his favor.

Although performance is his strength, he am extremely introverted as Beer. Now, if he is Arodeyr serenading a village of half-elves, he is as extroverted as they come. If he is Bellen Strongfoot performing for a tavern of halflings in Ethdale, he will always steal the show. However, when he is far from the spotlight, he is reserved and his motives are highly calculated.

He is a becomer. He seeks life in many forms. He maintains a collection of identifications to fit in wherever he goes.

Currently, in our campaign he is a female tabaxi pirate named Sandy, which is short for Like Sands Through The Hourglass, So Are The Days of Our Lives. One of the other players made his character an incredibly low int and low wis tabaxi who keeps forgetting who Sandy actually is, so he is repeatedly falling in love with her even after showing him my true face multiple times. It's made for some really funny interactions.

My character that I've been playing for two years just died, so I got to make an all new one! He's currently Paladin 2/Wizard 5 (Bladesinger). He's a Tiefling named Justice.

He was basically a middle class nobody, until he managed to get a nobleman to sponsor him to go to his city-state's university. There he studied law, and eventually had a work-study squiring for an order of knights. When he graduated, they gave him an honorary knighthood, and he earned the position of magistrate in his city-state.

Some years later, a theocratic army worshipping Amaunator occupied his city. He was allowed to keep his office, and gained a reputation among the people of the city for being fair on commoners, contrasting the strict brutality of the occupiers. It was during this time that he met his wife, a lieutenant in the ranks of the occupying army.

Eventually, he saw a case between a nobleman in the city, and a peasant. Following the law, he sentenced the nobleman to prison, which did not make the nobleman's powerful father very happy. They couldn't move against Justice directly because of his popularity with the people of the city, so instead they went after his wife.She was imprisoned for "adultery," and he was told she wouldn't be let go unless he stepped down from his position as magistrate.

After he stepped down, he decided to take the law into his own hands. He became a vigilante, enforcing the rules of civilization where the rulers would not. It wasn't long though before the rulers began catching up to him, and so staying in the city became too dangerous. He and his wife then left to join the Resistance, which is where he will meet the party in our next session.

They've already met his wife, who is now known as the Iron Revenant. They don't know she is married though, and one of the other PCs has a bit of a crush on her, so that will be fun.

Prepare to meet, Kyle the Audacious

Arlo Underbarrel was the son of traveling merchants. He practiced music, burglary, and intrigue. It started as sneaking into places to steal stuff, mostly out of boredom. You see, Arlo didn't have a difficult or tragic past. When he realized he could get easier access to places as a musician, and that as the hired musician he got into all the court gossip, he starts targeting nobility. He's chaotic good and wants to make the world a better place by bringing the system down, and that's easier from the inside.

Now grown up, while spending a couple years in the City of Dawn, he crossed paths with his now BFF, Chisuke (another PC). Arlo breaks into a room and is in the middle of stealing shit when Chisuke's mark comes rushing in and Chisuke comes in behind him and kills him. Arlo just stands there, gaping like a dumbass, jewelry box in hand. Slowly puts it in his loot sack, mutters something like "good thing this room is empty." and then dips out the window.

Then they start noticing each other at court functions - Chisuke, it turned out, was a Lord, and often crossed paths at parties where Kyle is the hired entertainment. Kyle would be down to help him break into places in exchange for the excuse to get away from the party with someone who belongs there and also, of course, the loot. Gotta have the loot. And if you gotta kill someone well that's cool too, but he hopes they're noble and deserve it.

Whatever timespan later - Arlo has decided he wants to change his life and become a bard. He begins his training at the Bardic College. When things go sideways with Chisuke's family, Arlo turns to the stories of the Halfling heroes he grew up reading stories of. He decides that he needs to recreate ehimself, and Chisuke should do the same, and adopts the monicker of Kyle the Audacious, modeled after Lyle the Magnificent. Chisuke he dubs Okami the Bold!

So mechanically speaking he's a Rogue 3 / Bard 3 right now. Arcane Trickster, College of Swords. Every round of combat he narrates. Even when he's stealthed, he can't shut the fuck up. He shouts "sneak attack!" every time he attacks, whether it's a sneak attack or not. Whether he's stealthed or not. Being as I'm also one of the only experienced players in the group comfortable with taking point he wound up being the defacto Face of the group. Which he has dubbed the Prose and Khans cause it's 2 bards and everyone else is some form of fighter or barbarian.

We play on discord/roll20 so I send all the narration to discord to save it. Here are some of my favorites

Mold demons! Shit demons! Excrementals dripping from the ceiling! Time to get serious, GET IN THERE KYLE!

Tiamat's Tits that thing is more rancid than Caos leaves the outhouse on curry night.

{prestidigitation for a sick metal riff} With style and panache, Okami the Bold charges into the frey! Fear not Prose and Khans, we're here to save the day!

Bahamut's Balls, you look like a scorpion fucked a tiger and abandoned the litter. I would abandon you too. I know those words sting worse than you, but so does this SNEAK ATTACK!

Overwhelmed at the terrifying might of Okami the Bold and Kyle the Audacious, the cowardly skinflints turned and fled! Get back here, we just want to talk!

My character is an Aberrant Mind Sorcerer, with the Telekinesis Feat. I've tried to take only spells that can be explained as manifestations of psychic power. The character's name? Robert Brün. As in, Bobby Brown. As in, Millie Bobby Brown.

I haven't told my DM or the other players about the pun, yet. I'm wondering how long it takes until they figure it out 😁