this post was submitted on 28 Jan 2024
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Apple uses automated schnapps IVs.

Transcript

[A graph with "programming skill" on the Y-axis and "blood alcohol concentration" on the X-axis. The Y-axis slowly goes down, but spikes at 0.1337%.]
[Cueball is making a presentation with the graph.]
Cueball: Called the Ballmer Peak, it was discovered by Microsoft in the 80's. The cause is unknown but somehow a B.A.C between 0.129% and 0.138% confers superhuman programming ability.
Cueball: However, it's a delicate effect requiring careful calibration – you can't just give a team of coders a year's supply of whiskey and tell them to get cracking.
Spectator: ...Has that ever happened?
Cueball: Remember Windows ME?
Spectator: I knew it!

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