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True story: I had to try several times to upload this comic because my ssh key was blacklisted.
Transcript
[Cueball sitting at computer.]
Cueball: I'll just comment out these lines...// MD_update(&m, buf, j);
// do_not_crash();
// prevent_911();
In the rush to clean up the debian-openssl fiasco, a number of other major security holes have been uncovered:
[A two-column table is shown:]
Affected System
Security problem
Fedora Core
Vulnerable to certain decoder rings
Xandros (EEE PC)
Gives root access if asked in a stern voice
Gentoo
Vulnerable to flattery
OLPC OS
Vulnerable to Jeff Goldblum’s PowerBook
Slackware
Gives root access if user says Elvish word for “friend”
Ubuntu
Turns out distro is actually just Windows Vista with a few custom themes
