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Completely seriously; while I’m sure essentially no one actually does, the IRS is not going to like network with the FBI or your local police department if you, for some reason, decide to pay taxes on your weed sale profits. Unless you report that you’re selling sex slaves they seriously could not care less.
I know it’s just a joke image but I do love the idea of someone who makes much of their money illegally but also has this very honorable commitment to paying their fair share in taxes.
I know it’s just a joke image but I do love the idea of someone who makes much of their money illegally but also has this very honorable commitment to paying their fair share in taxes.
If you're convicted of criminal activity you'd be smart to include that in your taxes. The last thing you need is to be convicted of tax fraud in addition to getting convicted of drug trafficking. If the government already has a record of you profiting from criminal activity, make sure you give them their cut.
As the joker once said:
I'm crazy enough to take on batman, but the IRS? No thank you
More specifically the IRS field book discourages reporting illegal income to other agencies for basically everything besides terrorism. Also, when you file taxes there's a reason there's an "other income" field. Nobody expects you to list "MS-13" as your employer. You can report money earned from illegal activities to avoid additional federal charges being tacked on
Exactly. I’ve seen such a gigantic rise in like “conspiracy-everything” posts online (wherein people seemingly assume that everything ever done by the government is in some way a poorly concealed conspiracy) and i think anyone who has actually worked under government funding can pretty quickly attest that this just… isn’t how things work.
All these “little conspiracies” operate under the assumption that the US government is this hyper-connected, ultra advanced and professional shadowy room where everyone is out to get non-government employees for vague purposes (“they just want to have control… man…”.)
When really, 99% of government employees are like some guy or gal you went to high school with who is working in a cubicle because the benefits are pretty decent
Anyway, not to make the joke post too serious. I just always worry the naively minded might take posts like this too seriously lol
And reporting "other income" wouldn't flag you as a likely criminal anyway, unless it was a massive amount. They don't know if you got it from selling weed, picking pockets, or mowing your neighbor's lawn (no, Bill is not going to submit a form 1099 for you, he's just going to hire a professional lawn service instead if you're going to be weird about it).
…I do love the idea of someone who makes much of their money illegally but also has this very honorable commitment to paying their fair share in taxes.
There’s, perhaps, a more practical explanation. As I’ve read before (in some other phrasing): If you’re going to commit a crime, commit only one at a time.
In this case, if you’re going to make your money illegally, for goodness’ sake, don’t evade taxes.
Seriously though, some people have almost pulled off some crazy illegal shit and then got caught because a headlight was out or someone was doing something stupid. If you're going to commit crime, one at a time.
Timothy McVeigh was pulled over for driving without a license plate an hour and a half after blowing up the Murrah Federal Building in downtown Oklahoma City.
Within 90 minutes of the explosion, McVeigh was stopped by Oklahoma Highway Patrolman Charlie Hanger for driving without a license plate and arrested for illegal weapons possession. Forensic evidence quickly linked McVeigh and Nichols to the attack; Nichols was arrested, and within days, both were charged.
He likely would always have been caught, but he got picked up quick because of that.
This is absolutely it.
Its just one less way that they can come at you, it also means its harder for them to confiscate your property as proceeds of crime.
Actually what happened is that some criminal got caught. And in addition to everything, he was accused of tax fraud. He successfully argued though, that because there wasn’t a field to properly declare his taxes, rhat he would be committing fraud by lying about his income, and as such had no option. This is what led to those fields to exist
The premise of it is basically to have an easier way to prosecute organized crime since those folks rarely are keeping honest books.
Also you're allowed to plead the fifth on the origin of the income IIRC, though honestly that's just as likely to get you looked at by the FBI/local constabulary.
On the other hand if you're making enough money illegally to feel the need to declare it on your taxes (either for ethical reasons or because you don't want to get done like Al Capone) law enforcement is probably already looking at you.
This is just my D&D character. He's an accountant for a thieves' guild
It sounds odd but there was a Supreme Court about it. Essentially someone claimed they shouldn't have to pay taxes on the profits of crime and the Court ruled they did. So they had to create a way for people to do that. For what it is worth, the 5th amendment protects you from incriminating yourself, so you are allowed to decline to provide the details of where the money came from, but it's a bit like paying your parents for something you broke and then just not telling them what it is, and then expecting them not to look around the house.
“it would be an extreme if not an extravagant application of the Fifth Amendment to say that it authorized a man to refuse to state the amount of his income because it had been made in crime. … He could not draw a conjurer’s circle around the whole matter by his own declaration that to write any word upon the government blank would bring him into danger of the law.” .... "It is urged, that, if a return were made, the defendant [Sullivan] would be entitled to deduct illegal expenses, such as bribery. This by no means follows, but it will be time enough to consider the question when a taxpayer has the temerity to raise it.”
That's what ended up getting Capone too: https://www.forbes.com/sites/kellyphillipserb/2018/10/17/al-capone-sentenced-to-prison-for-tax-evasion-on-this-day-in-1931/?sh=2a73f4f27c4c
Dang.
"We're not the cops, we just want our cut."
-- IRS Probably
It's cool if you return it at the end of the year that you don't have to pay taxes on it. You could steal something, use it to make more money, and then return it. This avoids paying any kinda sales taxes when you took it. And since inventory is taxed you wouldn't have to pay on that.
Someone could exploit this. Make a fake company that steals from the real company, returns the property at the end of the year.
My first job was at a place called Cybo Robots in Indianapolis. The R&D department there created something that iRobot turned into the Roomba, when they bought the company. The entire point of the company was to lose money as a tax write off. The owner owned several other profitable companies, and needed a money sink so that he could get out of paying taxes, so he created Cybo Robots.
My point here is that not only could someone exploit this, they already are in multiple ways.
Just be rich and pay nothing instead
Europeans: You guys have to file your own taxes?
Yes, but it is different. I'm employed, so my employer pays taxes, social security, pension fund money, and health insurance into the proper channels, and I get an "after taxes" direct transfer (which is standard here for decades now).
The tax rates the employer pays are based on complicated tables which are calculated on average annual incomes and no deductions. So they are usually higher than they would be in reality.
At the beginning of the year, we get a paper from the employer stating how much taxes they have paid out of my pay over the year. Then we can take (you are not required to, but letting this slip would be stupid) tax forms and fill them out, or use a tax software (costs about €5 and contains all the legal tricks and up-to-date information). There you can claim all things that would reduce your tax load, e.g. Text benefits for education, for having a handicap, times on unemployment, change of pay rate, office supplies you need for business purposes, medical costs (which usually is not much, because we have working health insurance, but there are co-pays and things that are not covered, like something that is a big thing for us: a fixed rate per kilometer for trips to doctors and physiotherapeuts, which is a list of several pages and alone reduces our tax load by several hundred euro).
You submit this as a paper form, or, more modern, online. We usually hear back from the tax guys a few weeks later, asking for invoices and receipts, send them in, and again a few weeks later, we get money back. As we can claim a lot of stuff (my wife is handicapped), we usually get a few thousand euro back - which is a good incentive to file taxes! But even as a normal person, it pays, as there is a form "work-related costs" where people can claim money for commuting and similar things.
As a self-employed person, one has to submit taxes for the business, of course.
They still miss the "declare here the wages you stole"
But those are already taxed as ordinary income
If you steal property, you must report its fair market value in your income in the year you steal it unless you return it to its rightful owner in the same year.
Lesson learned. Steal on Jan 1st 00:01, return to owner on Dec 31st 23:59, rinse repeat.
Yeah, they say this shit but hide the addendum forms like five layers deep in a FAQ link tree. And don't even get me started on the forms you need if you steal drugs. Like, holy shit. I hate to be a bureaucan't, but somethings gotta change
Yeah, they got Al Capone for tax evasion, and they’ll get you for confessing to a crime on official government documents.
Line 8z is "all other types of income" it's not specifically "income from crimes."
It's just a catch all for anything not covered in A through P. Like, gambling winnings or unreported cash tips. The IRS just wants their cut. They don't actually care where the money comes from. An insurance payout might go on that line.
What about legally questionable activities? You know, from things that aren't exactly crimes, but sure look like it? Asking for a friend
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parallel_construction
TL;DR- if you do this you are foolish and you are going to get fucked, probably forcefully in prison.
The feds are actually disturbingly fair about this. You can deduct your legal fees as a business expense.
wikipedia excerpt
While embezzlers, thieves, and the like are forced to report their illegally acquired income for tax purposes, they may also take deductions for costs relating to criminal activity. For example, in Commissioner v. Tellier, a taxpayer was found guilty of engaging in business activities that violated the Securities Act of 1933.[8] The taxpayer subsequently deducted the legal fees he spent while defending himself.[8] The U.S. Supreme Court held that the taxpayer was allowed to deduct the legal fees from his gross income because they meet the requirements of §162(a),[9] which allows the taxpayer to deduct all the "ordinary and necessary expenses paid or incurred during the taxable year in carrying on a trade or business."[10] The Court reasoned (and the Internal Revenue Service did not contest the point) that it was ordinary and necessary for a person engaged in a business to expect to have legal fees associated with that business, even though such things may only happen once in a lifetime.[9] Therefore, the taxpayer in Tellier was allowed to deduct his legal fees from his gross income, even though he incurred the fees because of his crime. The U.S. Supreme Court in Tellier reiterated that the purpose of the tax code was to tax net income, not punish unlawful behavior.[11] The Court suggested that if this was not the case, Congress would change the tax code to include special tax rules for illegal conduct
So, if you declare that money it is already clean?
If I declare 100m of selling coke, and pay 60m in taxs, the remaining 40m are clean?
No, paying income taxes isn't money laundering. Those two are totally unrelated.
Also, money laundering doesn't make it not-a-crime to have dirty money, it just makes it harder to trace the crime. It is, in fact, a crime in itself.
just means you're not committing two crimes, and as even the joker knows, you don't fuck with the IRS
So then if you get caught and these are taken away from you, I assume you can declare it as a loss and get an equivalent deduction the next year? I wonder if anyone's ever used this to their advantage to game their tax rates?
"damn, I can't steal any more this year or I go up another tax bracket"
