this post was submitted on 17 Jun 2023
20 points (100.0% liked)

Asklemmy

43940 readers
534 users here now

A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions

Search asklemmy πŸ”

If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!

  1. Open-ended question
  2. Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
  3. Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
  4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
  5. An actual topic of discussion

Looking for support?

Looking for a community?

~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~

founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
 

Neighbours recently had their home remodelled, which involved them putting new glazing in their bathroom. The glass is not frosted enough and there's a lot to see.

They are large windows too, starting at knee hight. How do I bring this up?

Bonus points if someone can tell me why this community keeps showing my subscription as pending.

all 41 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] Markus@kbin.social 11 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I feel like most of the comments are making a bigger deal out of this than it really is. "Hey guys, just FYI your frosted windows aren't frosted enough, we can see through them from over here, just thought you should know"

It's not really a complicated conversation.

[–] Polkira@kbin.social 7 points 1 year ago

Right? It'd be a bit of an embarrassing conversation but it would be a lot less awkward to bring it up now instead of waiting months to tell them. The longer you wait the harder it'll be to tell them that you can see them naked.

[–] madmaurice@discuss.tchncs.de 11 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Go there, ring the bell, tell them. The longer you wait the creepier that conversation is going to be.

[–] onepinksheep@kbin.social 3 points 1 year ago

And when you do it, make sure you stare at them unblinkingly to assert dominance.

[–] Noedel@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

Yeah exactly right. In a few weeks it's worse.

Agree, it might seem an awkward conversation but if they're not idiots they'll realise you're looking out for them. You could leave an anonymous letter or something, but there is a good chance they'll guess it was you anyways.

[–] fennec@feddit.de 7 points 1 year ago

Just tell them. If that was me I’d wanna know ASAP!

[–] HeartyBeast@kbin.social 5 points 1 year ago

β€œThey did a really neat job with your appendix scar”

[–] sorrybookbroke@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

The framing in this conversation is important. This is difficult, but making it clear you'd rather not see that is how I'd go.

I'd tell them that I noticed I could clearly see the furnature, wall, or some detail and would rather not see them indecent.

No way around it, it's going to be a bit awkward, but telling them shouldn't seem like a weird thing to do. If you're polite, telling them about the issue is a kind thing to do.

Maybe a note outside their door? Could be anonymous if you don't know them well and they don't have cameras, saves both you and them the awkwardness

[–] GunnarRunnar@kbin.social 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I'd tell them that I noticed I could clearly see the furnature, wall, or some detail and would rather not see them indecent.

This is a great advice. Little buffer gray zone so you don't have to directly say "hey, I can see you when you take a shit".

[–] skogens_ro@kbin.social 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I may be overthinking it, but I feel like bringing up those kinds of details unprompted is more awkward. Like you're hiding that you did see something.

Just say you can see into their bathroom and thought they should know. If they ask what you saw, or if they look absolutely mortified you can assure them you didn't see anything like that.

[–] GunnarRunnar@kbin.social 1 points 1 year ago

I think it's just a white lie to make this interaction easier. It's something to fall back on. Probably both parties in that conversation actually know that something was seen but this way it's easier to move past that (and ignore it).

And yeah just saying "I can see in your bathroom" would work too but it might be a bit hard to say that if you have social anxiety (or something) so this plan is just to alleviate that stress.

[–] Seathru@kbin.social 4 points 1 year ago

You're assuming they care. Maybe they're comfortable with themselves. I used to make eye contact with my neighbors when I was showering and they were mowing. They stopped looking.

[–] kelce@kbin.social 4 points 1 year ago

You don't have to say "Hey, I can see your dang-a-lang" but maybe something like "Hey, you might want to frost your window more because I can almost see my reflection in your mirror" might work.

[–] _s10e@feddit.de 4 points 1 year ago

Invite him over while she is taking a shower. Enjoy the view together. Let them draw their own conclusions.

[–] Repulsa@lemmy.fmhy.ml 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Ask them to dinner and explain you usually like to enjoy a hot meal with someone before you see them naked. Classy AF.

[–] Noedel@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Can and should I slowly undress during the dinner?

[–] Repulsa@lemmy.fmhy.ml 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Maybe? But the dinner should definitely only consist of phallic foods. All the sausages (bonus points for those big Chorizo that curl up), aubergine, cucumber etc churros for dessert. Really sets the tone.

[–] Eavolution@kbin.social 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] Repulsa@lemmy.fmhy.ml 2 points 1 year ago

You have educated me today! Thank you.

[–] Kajkage@kbin.social 3 points 1 year ago

You’re going to have to post a few pictures for us to better asses the situation 🀣

[–] Brad@lemm.ee 3 points 1 year ago

I'd drop a note, to avoid the awkward conversation that might happen & to avoid embarrassing your neighbour.

They might be installed backwards. I think some frosted glass is designed to act similar to a one-way mirror. So they're probably inside thinking that the glass is practically opaque.

[–] Liontigerwings@kbin.social 2 points 1 year ago

Send them a dick pick of their own dick. that glass will be frosty the next time you see it.

[–] pillems@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

I have no idea what to do about the not-so-frosty windows, but regarding your bonus question, that's just lemmy being laggy. Next time you refresh you'll see that you're subscribed. I had the same question yesterday and saw it being answered somewhere.

[–] Otome-chan@kbin.social 1 points 1 year ago (2 children)

just tell them asap. idk who tf thought it'd be a good idea to put windows in a bathroom.

[–] re@kbin.social 7 points 1 year ago

Windows in a bathroom let in so much natural light, I always feel much more comfortable with windows (even really big ones) as long as all the important parts aren't visible from outside.

[–] Hank@kbin.social 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Probably someone not fond of mold I guess.

[–] Ryac@kbin.social 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

But what if you told them and they say " We know :)"?

[–] Xeelee@kbin.social 0 points 1 year ago

Send them this article, and flee the country. 0 interactions.

[–] paorzz@kbin.social 1 points 1 year ago

Write them a letter. Tell them the issue.

Stand naked outside the window and knock.

Or, just put a letter in the mailbox or on the front porch.

[–] RST987@infosec.pub 1 points 1 year ago

If You really want to by truly anonymous You could try to drop a message into the letter box. Check the visibility angles of their bathroom windows, so it won't be obvious it is You.

[–] duraks@kbin.social 1 points 1 year ago

I would not say anything. Not my problem.

[–] phlemmy@lemmy.ml 0 points 1 year ago

We need photo evidence to verify your claims.

[–] lvxferre@lemmy.ml 0 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Bring up this issue happening with you, in casual conversation. For example: "when I moved here the house had a lot of issues, for example [...] and the glass was not frosted enough. We eventually fixed this [...]"

The idea here is that you won't be telling them directly, they're going to realise it on their own.

[–] Noedel@lemmy.world -1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I love this haha, I live in NZ and people here are very indirect and non confrontational.

I'm Dutch so quite the opposite.

[–] dandan@kbin.social 2 points 1 year ago

I was working with a Dutch guy, he'd just flown back to Netherlands and I sent him an email that went something like:

Hi Jan,

Hope you made it back ok,

<work question>

Cheers,
Dandan

He replied inline to my email and under "Hope you made it back ok" he wrote " >I do not understand why this is relevant"