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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/jj2304 on 2023-08-06 11:40:42.
I (30M) and my wife (30F) have 2 small kids (2 yrs and 3 months).
Ever since having our first child, it has been a continuously sore subject that I still go to the gym multiple times a week, when I could be at home instead.
Context: I work a pretty demanding full time job, and my wife stays at home with the kids and works part time remotely. I usually go to the gym in the afternoon after work. On the weekends, I only go when the kids are napping. Sometimes, I’m even just trying to use our stationary bike inside the house, which provokes the same angry or passive-aggressive response.
The response when I say I’m going to work out is usually a variation of “well I was going to ask you to do {chore} but whatever just leave instead”. Or “must be nice to be able to go workout whenever you want”.
I have offered many times for her to do the same and leave the kids with me while she goes, but she usually doesn’t feel like going in the times when I’m available to do so.
I’ve given up pretty much all of my hobbies since having kids in order to focus on the family when I’m not at work, so I don’t feel like it’s unreasonable to ask for 4 or 5 hours per week in order to take care of myself physically and mentally. AITA?