I'd assume most smart kitchen appliances have NTP now?

Try XMPP with snikket, they're on mastodon too.
Or self-host it.

I should stock up on masks before visiting London then...

You can thank France for Bic.

Ther's only so much they can do in ~160 km^2^ ...

Signal's american and their infrastructure's based on american Amazon, so there's that...
You could use a VPN i guess.

Is it subtitles in english though?

freenginx

"Crippled languages"?

You might be better off with bare-metal linux and shoving windows inside a VM where it belongs.

COBOL resists!

English is fancy.