I don't think it's a good idea for a cyborg to go anywhere near water

Nano. It's the easiest to use

I don't think even England wants Kings

The wallpaper gives me Longhorn/Vista vibes

I'm one with the FOSS and the FOSS is with me

"See that panel, you can customize it" ~ KDE

This just randomly picks a distro

Is it Lupus?

Nope. Just that your description fits Gentoo XD

I assume they were a Gentoo user?