Vladkar

Hello, Dolores

And you know what's really frightening? If you drink enough of it, you begin to like it

"For reasons we can't explain, we are losing her. We don't know why. She has lost the will to live."

— ChatGPT Medical Droid

Seriously, I went to Kohl's yesterday and got two pairs of jeans, two shirts, and a pack of socks. The total was over $200 USD, and that includes sales.

I ended up returning the jeans and socks. If I were a fish I wouldn't have legs anyway.

Turkey? Dude, his name's Laserbeak.

You and your lizard are awesome. He looks like a little alien—I'm glad E.T. found home.

During COVID, I went a bit mad and got really into collecting Transformers action figures. I'm still not entirely sure why. One day I just bought one on a whim, and before I knew it my closet was full of unopened, mint condition toy robots.

Anyway, Christmas rolls around and I see a flyer for a local toy drive. A sudden compulsion hit me, so I loaded up my entire stash and donated the lot. Just like that, the spell was broken. Not even Soundwave was spared.

To this day, nobody in my life knows that I spent thousands of dollars on plastic crack, only to foist my addiction on some poor, unsuspecting kids. I like to imagine the War for Cybertron rages on in their hearts.

Will the real SLLM Shady please stand up?

Luckily we have Fox News and random strangers on the internet who are willing to magnanimously inform us about the desolation of our own city.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go scavenge for hot dish in the smouldering ruins of Saint Paul.

Fun fact: While shooting this scene, Peter Jackson wanted Sir Christopher Lee to scream. However, Lee corrected Jackson: "Have you any idea what kind of noise happens when somebody's snuck up on by a tree? Because I do."

The Shakespeare veteran then proceeded to give an in-depth summary of the Battle of Dunsinane.

Because the youth group was serving it with free donuts—it's pretty much the reason I went. To be fair, they were really nice; it was just a bizarre experience. I didn't realize you could just inherit a church and declare yourself a pastor without any formal training.

After looking up how much money my local megachurch took in last year ($60 mil) versus how much they spent on charity ($3 mil), I think you were probably justified.