I’m sorry to hear you’re going through this qt, it can be really tough. I found myself in a similar spot when I transitioned and moved to a rural area. It’s been two years since then and i’m extremely happy in a T4T relationship.
On “feeling like a freak,” yeah, I get that. It sucks to feel that way. Part of that perception changes with time as hormones do their thing and you fit more into a feminine role… part of it doesn’t go away. I think it’s important to realize that if people are around you and being friendly they likely don’t think you’re a freak, and acting as if they do will just make it awkward. You’re not a pervert for being trans and liking cis women. Be confident and love yourself.
Feel free to reach out if you need someone to talk to <3 all will be alright.
I’m a little more optimistic; like yeah, all of that is definitely happening, but there is lots of genuinely helpful research being done in the US. Not everything here is rotten. China’s research output is just an order of magnitude greater. See https://www.nature.com/nature-index/institution-outputs/generate/all/global/academic for a cool list of research outputs by institution.
China dominated the Top500 list by 2017, with 202 machines compared to 143 from the U.S. Then the U.S. restricted Chinese access to Intel processors and other U.S. hardware in 2015, followed by broader export restrictions under the Trump administration in 2019, which have been tightened further by the Biden administration in 2022. As a result, Chinese participation in the Top500 list dwindled, to some degree because access of Chinese entities to the latest hardware got harder and to some degree because Chinese scientists no longer want to share details about their machines with anyone.
Why is anyone surprised that the country with the highest research output, that has historically dominated the Top500 list, has the fastest supercomputers?
I find that rogerebert.com ’s reviews are pretty solid. I use that for a quick tool to decide if I want to watch something - I don’t think i’ve ever been disappointed by a film they rated 3.5-4 stars.
The full size model barely runs on 160 GB VRAM and something like 200 GB CPU buffer. I’m trying to scale it across many GPUs but haven’t had much luck yet.
I am BEGGING for any editor other than VSCode to have decent remote development. I want to go open source but everything I've tried (remote-nvim, distant, tramp, vscodium, etc.) just doesn't cut it.
I think this is a great point, and definitely one that I discovered too late in life. It’s strange to come to this realization when others around you have (unconsciously or not) been playing this game for most of their lives.
Like you said, there’s plenty of external forces affecting the entropy of a closed “earth” system, and so the notion of a closed system seems a bit meaningless to me. I probably have some more reading to do on this tbh. I tend to take the view that everything is a single closed system (i.e. universal wavefunction) and so talking about smaller subsystems is helpful but never exact.
I think i might be a bit more optimistic on how well we can use these “entropy gradients” to our advantage. I study computational nanotechnology for a living, so ofc i’m a lil bullish on it, but generally i think that our current high technology regime can get us far enough past scarcity, it’s mainly the sociopolitical implications of doing so that i worry would stop us first.
Genuine question - do you feel that your “traditional” gender roles are threatened by the existence of trans people? If so, what makes you feel that way? As i see it, no one is advocating for the extinction of traditional gender roles. We just want the inclusion of non-traditional roles for those that don’t fit into “traditional” gender boxes.
It’s worth reflecting on how much of your apparent resentment toward non-traditional gender roles is a form of identity politics manufactured to sow division and distract from how we’re all being exploited anyways.
Ah I see, there were 12 readings. My mistake.