fieldswork

Finally working to finish Eloquent JavaScript - whether this is me procrastinating on revamping and migrating my personal website or trying to fill in my knowledge gaps is a mystery to me.

eeehhhhh remote work is admittedly isolating for me, but the work, pay and benefits of staying at home are all nice. I had a very similar remote job before this one which I had gotten furloughed from. The job hunt was pretty brutal, landed a contract job doing IT for a hospital which was actually pretty fun and rewarding, but that contract ended and my previous employer offered me the remote job I work now. The bunch of people I work with are all much more serious than the last team I was a part of, but they’re also all really talented at what they do so it’s been a challenge to keep up, but it’s very manageable.

I think my own takeaways are that I just need to carve out time to move and talk with people … in a not-work context, my social circle has shrunk since I had graduated and most of my homies live an hour away. Dunno if that all makes sense? It still feels weird that something that simple could’ve caused me to feel that kind of dread.

I do listen to music/podcasts a lot while doing chores or cooking or etc, I’m a pretty big gamer but that free time has gone towards taking care of a 5-month old puppy 💀 that …. May have something to do with it.

I’m the same way with notes, I catch myself all the time stressing out about whatever tasks I have queued up - as soon as I write them down and am able to see the list in front of me it feels a lot more manageable.

oh god I hadn’t considered that listening to news could cause psychic damage

lol, i don’t want to dig at my PCP but when i asked about referrals i got the impression they thought therapy was just paying to get talked at

I… will take a look at that, my insurance isn’t phenomenal but if I can’t figure this out that’s what I’ll try next.

I… think I snore a little? lol my own smartwatch isn’t smart enough to detect that, I shared a bed for ~5 years though so I’d be surprised if that was the case, I’ll look into it

I walk the dog a mile or two daily, exercise between a few times a month to a couple times a week. I drink 1-2 cups of black coffee a day and sugar-free soda pretty often, no smoking/vaping and I don’t drink regularly. I cook the same kinds of foods pretty constantly (oftentimes with probably a lot more cheese than I need lol) and eat fast food pretty regularly but I take vitamins and I don’t think I go crazy with anything, I’m about 150lbs at 5ft10. No meds, I definitely don’t sleep 8hrs on weekdays but I get at least 6. I do have a new job which is remote, on paper it’s not particularly stressful but it’s new for me to be the go-to guy for my specialty and it’s still something I’m getting used to. Other symptoms from my last panic attack were nausea, dizziness, feeling kinda weak, sweat on my hands and feet, no dry mouth or difficulty swallowing that I can remember.

And thanks for the advice, I’ve been procrastinating on setting an exercise routine but it’s great to hear that that’s an option for management. I will say I did also have my last few panic spikes on a really sedentary week, work from home is new to me so maybe spending time touching grass is important? Crazy

I can’t tell if I’m more upset by the article or the fact that I laughed at this