lolola

Side note: do I have this right? You can actually picture a time in the foreseeable future where you never have to use Excel again?

If so, I am soooo deeply envious of you :P

Already lots of great answers, but I'll add a note about intentional barriers to exit.

Many services tend to make it easy to sign up and comparably more difficult to quit. So while people always can leave and take their business elsewhere, they might not have the motivation to do it. I imagine each additional click in a form deters more and more people. OP mentioned being unmotivated, and these barriers play into that.

It's like wandering around in Ikea. You could use a map and chart out the fastest route to find what you need and get out. But it's so much easier to follow the little path they draw out on the floor and look at everything, which makes you way more likely to impulsively buy something extra.

If you're having a hard time finding Bort merch, the reason is obvious: they keep selling out before you get there.

Imagine a universe where plants were responsible for modern climate change, Earth Day celebrated deforestation, and Impossible Foods was developing this monster fiber-chicken.

Screen capture while the video is running, like the VCR days of yore

There's even a proper stroke order

Labor power has apparently scared the shit out of us to such a degree that no amount of toilet paper will ever be enough to wipe it up.

As far as I know, I have 2 main allergies: pollen and metals (some metals, not sure which exactly).

Pollen

• It feels like my nose is a leaky faucet. It will run and run and I'll have sneezing fits for hours. If I blow my nose, it makes the inside feel super-dry and itchy, which just kicks off more running and sneezing. So it basically feels pointless to blow my nose at all, and I usually settle for sniffling instead. But if I do that too much, I start getting mini-sinus headaches.
• Flare-ups. Sometimes I'll see the plants that trigger it and I'll start sneezing within 10-20 minutes. Other times I'll go outside and it'll start out of nowhere. It'll last for hours.
• Meds do not seem to help at all. Maybe they shorten what would be a 6-hour episode into a 3-hour episode but who tf knows. I have yet to find anything that kicks in faster than a couple hours after use.

Metals

• I break out in a highly localized rash. It's red, bumpy, and itches like mosquito bites.
• Flare-ups after prolonged contact (several hours) with a metal. It'll last anywhere from a couple hours to a couple days.
• No meds. It's pretty easy to ignore when it flares up, and it's easy enough to avoid exposure.

Don't forget Eeto, the fabled fifth element.

Wait, all these baby hippo posts have been a single baby hippo? I thought people were just posting cute baby hippos.

Despite new evidence to the contrary, I will continue to hold this false belief 🦛

And in the precise moment I saw this, I realized both of my monitors were displaying Excel on full screen. Sigh.

Holy frijoles