Relatable internal monologue.

My day is a disaster, as has been par for the course for the last month… Just trying to keep myself afloat these days.

Spicy noodles sound very good though :3

I’m a professional software engineer, ~15 years experience. Working in this industry slowly made me hate programming more and more; up until a few years ago, I used to love writing code by hand and untangling problems and all of that. But now, I just kinda hate it. It’s not fun anymore. At work, I don’t even really get to write code anymore, because all of my time is spent on dealing with people, trying to unfuck our process, trying to help the less-senior engineers on my team improve and grow, sitting in potentially 30+ hours of meetings every week, dealing with some of my coworkers (and especially the management types…) being meat proxies, and so on and so forth.

After all of that, when I’m done with work I don’t have the energy or desire to write code anymore. It no longer brings me joy, because my work has stolen it from me. However, my non-software hobbies still sometimes need custom software to fill my exact specific needs. So I end up vibing it into existence, because the other option is having nothing. I stopped caring about the code because, at the end of the day, my highly-specific hobby software just needs to work, not be good.

When people talk about LLMs and “agentic” coding and all the other stuff, the take I keep hearing is that there still needs to be a human in the loop. Well, the human in the loop is fucking exhausted and doesn’t have the desire to care about the code anymore.

Cooking at home for sure. It just became extremely hard due to my health, and now I end up ordering out because otherwise I eat next to nothing.

The standard lab ranges are defined by “at least some people don’t show symptoms of deficiencies or issues or etc at these levels,” not “everyone is guaranteed to be fine in these ranges.” I was “in range” with B12 until I started developing nerve damage from a deficiency of it, with years of symptoms leading up to it that were ignored because I was “in range.” I was “in range” with folate, because the standard lab tests inactive folic acid and not active folate. I was “in range” with ferritin, and yet had significant improvement from taking more iron. I was “in range” with potassium and then ended up in the ER multiple times from hypokalaemia so bad that I could barely move.

You get the idea. “In range” is not the same as “will get no benefit from supplementing it,” but it’s the kind of thing that ideally is done with proper medical assistance if you think you’re deficient in things.

ChatGPT Health is a real thing yes https://openai.com/index/introducing-chatgpt-health/

All of these are so cute, thanks for making them

Oh my goodness, I think I’ve just learned something new about myself (in an sfw sense)

I was diagnosed as “woman” for many, many years. I was always cold, tired, easily fatigued, depressed, and got nothing but SSRIs / antipsychotics / anxiety meds / etc. prescribed, because no doctor believed anything was wrong and I was told it’s normal to need a cane to walk since I was 23.

Then one day I had a seizure and developed widespread nerve damage in 3 months, and suddenly I was taken very seriously, got a diagnosis for a degenerative nerve condition, and put on treatment for it. Unfortunately, we found out that I can’t absorb the necessary medication orally at all, so I have to do injections of it for the rest of my life… so of course, my doctors keep taking away my prescription for the injections and putting me back on the pills that we know don’t work. I’m so tired.

I wish cannabis withdrawal was that easy for me. I had to get through 2-3 weeks of intense nausea, anxiety, and insomnia when I stopped using it. I’m sure having a massive tolerance didn’t help me though…

The US govt issued me a passport with the correct gender marker on it!