toas3r

Don't feel ashamed for being attracted to older men. But a word of caution, if you're in your 20's, you'll probably attract older men for the wrong reasons. This was my experience when I was in my 20's. The people I attracted were just as immature as I was just with way more baggage. As I got older myself I found that to be less and less the case. The divide between 35 and 45 isn't as big as 25 and 35 as far as life experience goes.

Also don't give anyone the time of day who doesn't support you. I don't mean surround yourself with sycophants, because that's not support either. Good friends are going to build you up, but also call you out if you're being dumb. This person doesn't sound like a good friend.

Like what @cheese_greater@lemmy.world said:

Learn to be really good at being by yourself. Spending some time alone will be really good for you if you view it as a time for self love and a time to work on yourself. Adulthood can be very lonely at times, and it only gets worse as you get older, so being comfortable with being alone can help you find balance and not feel that loneliness as you age.

Quake Champions is free, its close enough to the OG arena shooters to scratch the itch. Or there's Quake Live, it's not free, but it's cheap and I'm always able to find games online.

If you're open to playing against small groups, Straftat is an absolute riot. It started out as just a 1v1 game, but now you can play with 4 people. It's free, there's a ton of weird guns and maps, and the soundtrack slaps. They do sell a DLC that has hats, and additional maps, but the base game is free. I bought the DLC to support further development of the game.

You should pursue one, it helps a lot. I started going to my primary for treatment and while it was helpful, working with a Psychiatrist has been much more fruitful.

Were you taking Strattera? I took it for awhile, did not help with my ADHD, made me super moody all day. I switched to Concerta after about 6 months and noticed an immediate difference, so much was I proved. The only downside is I would crash hard around 4pm and I'd be grumpy for a few hours. My psych added a Ritalin booster for me to take around 2PM if I had plans in the afternoon, but ultimately I switched to Adderall ER and that so far has done the trick.

I mean I feel like that's not really my business to tell. Just like I wouldn't tell my family if my son had a hemmeroid. Yeah its a lie of omission, but its just kind of not my business to share with anyone.

But on the other hand if they're stupid wealthy they probably obtained that wealth through the exploitation of workers and I would tell everyone including my extended family that my child is a piece of garbage and I raised them better.

Nobody in their 30's are a member of Gen Z. The first birth year of Gen Z is 1997. Look I get it, I had to cut my own path in life too. My mom was a single mom so I learned how to cook because I was taking care of my siblings while my mom went to school and when she started working. I didn't take any of the fun classes in High School so I could double up on core classes to graduate early. I also got EMT Basic certified during this period so I had a job I could easily work at night when I graduated. EMTs don't get paid shit, and its emotionally and physically exhausting work. I do well now as a software engineer, but I'm not so far removed from that time that I don't remember what it was like to only have dried beans and rice in my pantry.

I just don't understand how someone could go through that and come out on the other side so bitter. But you know sometimes hurt people hurt people. Just like children who are abused sometimes become the abusers themselves. Some people struggle and instead of being mad at the system they get angry at people who try to fight against it.

I genuinely hope you can let go of that resentment for your sake, because it has a way of eating away at you. I work with Gen Z all the time and don't find them to be any more or less objectionable to work with. If anything some of the most problematic people from our department have all been Gen X and I had to let go of one individual because he had repeated behavioral issues. Although I don't think that's a reflection on his entire generation. He's just a person, just like us.

As an aside, several years ago I discovered powerlifting and it has been a great outlet for many of my frustrations. Plus growing muscle and increasing bone density is great for longevity as you age. Come join the community if you're interested or have questions about how to get into the sport. :)

I'm going to take a shot in the dark and assume it's been about 20 years since you have been a young 20-something? I'm not Gen Z, I'm old enough to remember a pre-911 America. I get on to my girlfriend all the time for this same thing. Yes it is their job working in customer service to make your experience pleasant, but it's also hard to take pride in the work that you do when your employer offers no health benefits, pays you poverty wages, and the cost of everything is constantly on the rise.

The material conditions in which they are growing up are very different than what were present when we were. This kids/young adults do not know what it is like to live in a world without the constant threat of terror or an endless stream of information that seeks to use our anxiety and outrage to keep us engaged.

Have some empathy and try to put yourself in their shoes. I'm well established in my career at this point, and I can't imagine how hard it must be for someone fresh out of college now. If I had that much student loan debt and couldn't find a job using that degree; I'd be mentally checked out making someone's coffee too. I'd be thinking about how the hell I'm going to pay back those loans.

Boof it; Enough.

I like to wear nice perfume so I gravitate towards unscented deodorant and I swear by "Dead Down Wind" they usually make products to mask your scent for hunting, but recently started to make deodorant and it works REALLY well. It survives my long gym sessions, so it holds up. But I also have sensitive skin so I don't use it daily. My go to daily is Brickell's unscented.

For bodywash I like to use bar soap, Shea Moisture is usually the brand I gravitate to since I can find it in most stores, and I like their lotion as well because it is unscented.

Full disclosure, I don't have dark skin, but I have tattoos covering most of my skin on my body and haven't noticed any sort of whitecasting when using these products. Well except the deodorant, but I kinda expect that from deodorant that isn't the gel kind.

It seems obvious now, but it took me too long to realize I don't have issues focusing on things, I just have a hard time focusing on things I'm not interested in. I was a terrible student in grade school and took some time off after I graduated before going to university. That time away allowed me to mature and gain the discipline I needed to get through the stuff I wasn't interested in. I then breezed through my major because I loved it.

Don't spend as much energy on trying to improve the things that you're bad at. Figure out your strengths and lean into them.

If you have ADHD, get medicated. While it's no replacement for good habits, it makes starting those good habits SO much easier. I wish I had started taking it 15 years sooner.

If you also have ASD, a lot of people aren't going to understand you. The way you view the world is different. Be kind and be true to yourself and you'll meet lots of people who appreciate your difference.

Spending time being doing nothing actually helps your focus later, boredom is good for you and actually promotes creativity.

Don't multitask, you'll just end up half-assing every task.

If you have the means, see a psychologist who specializes working with people who are neurodivergent. It will greatly improve your communication skills. If you're in a serious relationship, get couples counseling even if things are going great. This will help you break down any communication barriers before they have the opportunity to become resentment.

I could keep adding to this list, but having an exercise routine is probably one of the best things I did to improve my focus. Plus I also get the long term health benefits of strength training.

No, I'd be taking a loss at that point. Living under a bridge and charging all passerbys a toll is lucrative business.

By the way, that'll be about $3.50, but I have a sliding scale system. If you can't pay you have the option of answering a riddle. The only downside is if you get it wrong.... I eat your foot.

Probably amphetamines, people love to shit on amphetamines when it comes to their use in treatment of ADHD. Most of that criticism comes from a fundamental misunderstanding of both chemistry and biology.