wendyz

I'm just done with everything. Done with especially my friends being used, harassed, etc. by everyone we meet.

Will (23NB masc) apologized for "being a dick", in his words, or not giving me enough affection, but he's a pretty good and cool friend even if he can't be there for me or have those feelings as a boyfriend. It turns out, he lost feelings for me a while ago but didn't wanna tell me that so he pretended to be romantic and make me confused so I didn't feel bad. In the end, he helped me get over my attachment to him :)

"Hey, I'm really sorry to have to say this, but I don't think this is going to work.

I have a hard time communicating as I'm pretty shy and a people-pleaser, but it feels like you're way more attached to Dave than me. It feels like, to me, even if it's not true and my brain is just being stupid, that you care a lot more about spending time with him and answering his texts than talking to me. You tend to text him and call him a lot but will just see my messages and not reply a lot and you don't seem to have time to call me. I think we'd be better off as friends. Again, I'm so sorry, but I feel like we need different things in the relationship. I need a more attached partner like how you are with him, but it was hard for me to say so. Maybe we could be friends, unless you'd like to try again.

Good luck with everything and have a happy relationship with Dave,

Wendy"

I am absolutely done. Try to post anything I need help on and I get downvoted just for asking a fucking question on Reddit. And people are so rude to people with different pronouns like, they/them but especially neopronouns or whatever they’re called, like fae/faer and xe/xem.

Mention my boyfriend is sapphic nonbinary masc? Someone says something absolutely fucking rude about non-binary people and how they hate Gen Z and how I need professional mental help and that they’re “not leftist enough” for xe/xem pronouns and therefore they can’t respect their pronouns.

Some of these people claim to be LGBTQ+ too. For shame. Furthermore, rather than ignore and it respect the person, they say rude shit about my being poly too and how it’s “not natural” and the same recycled homophobic rhetoric from YEARS ago.

I’m done. I’m done, fuck. And people are saying I’m a jerk and a bad person for wanting to leave my boyfriend, as if I should just let myself be sad. People don’t like me, and I’m done being nice. Pardon me, I’m off my meds and very ranty today, but MY GOD I’M PISSED FROM HAVING TO HOLD BACK MY TRUE FEELINGS!

So I (22F) am dating a masculine non-binary person (23nb) 'Will', and engaged to a girl (23F) 'Aiko'. Aiko is good at spending time with me because I would let her date someone else if she wants, she is probably monogamous, but she supports polyamory and is okay with me having other partners. Will is dating 'Dave' (26M) as well as me, and Will has bad attachment issues, so he is attached to several different people, including us romantically. He almost never wants to hang out with me but says that we should hang out more, it's kind of like 'I don't feel like it' or 'I'm too depressed/busy' when I ask if we should hang out, but he is always open to hanging out with his friends or with Dave. He always freaks out when Dave doesn't answer his texts but doesn't care at all if I don't text first.

I understand from polyamory and open relationships that Dave may be Will's primary because Aiko is starting to be mine due to the lack of attention I get from Will, but he barely talks to me or pays attention to me, and that really makes me sad. I have tried talking to him and he just says that it is his attachment issue because Dave is leaving for the military, which he will do, so he wants to spend as much time with him as he can, but I feel sorry for him because of this and it makes me sad. I am also attached to him as well as to Aiko, but Will will hardly spend time with me even though he has a reason for it, so I feel sad for myself and for Will and for Aiko for being so fixated on Will AND for Dave because he has to leave his boyfriend.

People, especially outside of Lemmy (in fact, I think only outside of Lemmy), have said to me that the way I feel, being poly and upset and jealous of my boyfriend Will's other partner is unreasonable, so why do I feel the way I do? They say I should be happy for him and that Will's boyfriend Dave is probably his primary and that I'm being a jerk, but he doesn't even pay attention to me and everyone downvotes me and ignores me for saying so.

I don't really have a problem with Dave, it's not his fault. I have a problem with Will because he apparently lost his phone (could be true), leaves me on read, doesn't even talk to me, and only mentions his boyfriend and how much he misses and wants to talk to his boyfriend but never says he misses me. And everyone is okay with this. And I shut up and act okay with it because I can't resist his charm when he acts romantic to me when we're together even if his behavior is so hugely, enormously different when we're not in person like it used to be.

Even if he never wants to hang out with me, says he doesn't really feel like it, and doesn't make plans with me unless it's scheduled by someone else or he feels it's "mandatory". And I've tried talking to him and he says "I just don't feel like it, that's all" or "I'm just depressed babe" or "Sorry I'm just busy babe" but he keeps doing it and I feel so petty and unreasonable.

My friend says he might even be gay because he only mentions men but is in denial and wants to show off a girl because of heteronormativity or something, IDK. ¡Ayúdenme, por favor!

I hate to post about Reddit on a non-Reddit platform, but come on! Reddit is super overrated, like they delete and downvote every post and comment I make whereas no one does that here. One time, they told my friend who happens to be autistic, LGBT, and a fictionkin that she "might as well just kill herself", though that got removed, thankfully, and they call me stupid and delete my post and talk about what a stupid question it is that no one can answer when I, who is autistic, ask a question on why someone acts a certain way or why society has to be a certain way. I'M AUTISTIC. I DON'T GET QUESTIONS THAT COME NATURALLY TO EVERYONE ELSE AND I ASK QUESTIONS THAT NO ONE THINKS OF. MY BRAIN WORKS DIFFERENTLY, MR. REDDITOR!!!

My (22F) boyfriend Will (23NB/M) only spends time with his other partner Dave (26M) and only mentions him. It’s always “My boyfriend Dave this” “My boyfriend Dave that” or “I can’t wait to see my boyfriend!” “I miss my boyfriend!” “I’m sad I lost my phone so I can’t text my boyfriend!” (today)

Like, it’s so confusing because WHAT ABOUT ME? I’m right there. And he shows guilt a few times and apologizes but keeps doing it. And he never worries about texting me. In fact, he always leaves me on read and doesn’t bother to text back because mainly he’s calling Dave!!!

And I have Aiko (23F), my fiancée, and I love her to death, but I don’t know why I’m so jealous and hung up over this guy!! I just wish he treated me how I treated him and how Aiko and I treat each other. I never tell Aiko this stuff because I don’t wanna make her jealous so I only spend time with her and talk to her about our interests, not him or his interests.

But seriously, and whenever there’s an example of a relationship, he never says “I would never do that to Wendy”, it’s always “I would never do that to Dave” when I hear it. I’m just an afterthought.

But you know what? I’m obviously a sidepiece, and he’s romantic sometimes when we see each other and touchy with me, so maybe he loves me more than I think and I’m just overreacting because I’m such a good person. Like, the queen of good people. So I will likely stay with him and just suck it up.

How are you doing today?

My (22F) boyfriend Will (23NB/M) only spends time with his other partner Dave (26M) and only mentions him. It's always "My boyfriend Dave this" "My boyfriend Dave that" or "I can't wait to see my boyfriend!" "I miss my boyfriend!" "I'm sad I lost my phone so I can't text my boyfriend!" (today)

Like, it's so confusing because WHAT ABOUT ME? I'm right there. And he shows guilt a few times and apologizes but keeps doing it. And he never worries about texting me. In fact, he always leaves me on read and doesn't bother to text back because mainly he's calling Dave!!!

And I have Aiko (23F), my fiancée, and I love her to death, but I don't know why I'm so jealous and hung up over this guy!! I just wish he treated me how I treated him and how Aiko and I treat each other. I never tell Aiko this stuff because I don't wanna make her jealous so I only spend time with her and talk to her about our interests, not him or his interests.

But seriously, and whenever there's an example of a relationship, he never says "I would never do that to Wendy", it's always "I would never do that to Dave" when I hear it. I'm just an afterthought.

But you know what? I'm obviously a sidepiece, and he's romantic sometimes when we see each other and touchy with me, so maybe he loves me more than I think and I'm just overreacting because I'm such a good person. Like, the queen of good people. So I will likely stay with him and just suck it up.

I keep getting downvoted and bullied on Reddit, so I call it Redshit.

I last worked a few years back probably as I was still looking for a job when I still lived in Spain in my 20s. I will work as a barista but I’m afraid I can’t work quickly or efficiently enough