wraith

joined 1 year ago
[–] wraith@lemmy.ca 25 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Yeah, so, when I think about it, her sense of humor has definitely gotten darker over time. But I always assumed it was because I already have a dark sense of humor, so it was just rubbing off on her.

As far as other behavior goes? She's truly the same woman I married, in every way. She still loves going to play mahjong with our friends, wants to go on hikes, basically all the activities we do, she actively wants to do them. There's no signs of her acting withdrawn. She asked me if we were going camping later this month, just yesterday. It's why I feel so blindsided. I know mental health issues have different symptoms for everyone, but how common is it for the only symptom to be kept in a journal?

Can you just...idk, get used to be depressed? Because if she really has felt like this for years and years, she's not acting like it.

 

I know I shouldn't have, and I'm sorry I did. But it was lying on the floor next to the bed, and I guess she forgot to put it up.

I opened it, and now I'm very worried about her. In her personal life, she's a jester. She's always so joyful with everyone around her.

Well, in her diary, every entry I looked at, even the most recent one, is about how profoundly depressed she is, and how she wants to kill herself, but for one reason or another is too afraid to do so. Even entries from years ago are like this. It seems like she's felt this way for years, maybe even most of her life.

She gives all kinds of reasons why, from money/probably never being able to own a home (we're poor), to just general feelings of being "tired of life".

I had no idea. I don't think anyone does besides me. I'm freaking out while I wait for her to come home this evening.

Now that I know, how the hell do I bring it up? Wtf do you do when you know this kind of info and can't tell her how you do?

[–] wraith@lemmy.ca 5 points 1 year ago

I grew up in a mixed pet family. My dad loves cats; my mom dogs. It was exactly the way you describe it, too. I get why people adore cats and dogs both, but they do draw different personalities.

[–] wraith@lemmy.ca 2 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Yes, you can't expect an animal that basically tamed itself to respect your boundaries, and that's why dog people don't like them. They jump on the counter or try to break your coffee cup if it's too close to the edge of the table.

But overwhelmingly, in my experience as a cat shelter volunteer, people who have owned catsand do not like them feel that way, not because Mittens got overstimulated and scratched them once, but because they cannot cope with their boundaries being disrespected all the time. It isn't the cats fault, true. It's just an animal acting the way it evolved to act--but let's try to be understanding about why many people struggle with them as pets.

It really does take a certain personality to be okay with living with a cat.

[–] wraith@lemmy.ca -3 points 1 year ago (5 children)

I like cats, but this argument is dumb. The people I know who don't like cats don't like them precisely because cats don't respect boundaries or consent the way dogs do.

[–] wraith@lemmy.ca 19 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I have no idea. I know the city animal control has it now. She is trying to get him released, though.

[–] wraith@lemmy.ca 67 points 1 year ago (23 children)

A friend of my wife and I got a pit bull a couple months ago. She was going on and on about how sweet he is and how he would never hurt anyone. Last week, it mauled her roommate. Nearly took his hand off while he was changing into his work clothes. His career is likely over and she's still defending the dog.

[–] wraith@lemmy.ca 19 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (3 children)
[–] wraith@lemmy.ca 10 points 1 year ago

Congress is hopelessly broken, gridlocked and unable to pass policy on its own merit. That's how we end up with quadrillion page omnibus bills every year. It's a failed institution, and it's been this way since at least Reagan.

[–] wraith@lemmy.ca 3 points 1 year ago

That's very true. It's less that it can happen, and more that it's happening with virtually every trade agreement at once, along with dozens of diplomatic norms.

That said, the authority of the executive is undeniably stronger today than back then. Congress has acquiesed its authority and powers on virtually every issue imaginable and it alternates between being too complicit and too incompetent to change that (and too gridlocked to achieve meaningful policy anyway).

There are too many metastisizing issues to count at this point.

[–] wraith@lemmy.ca 31 points 1 year ago (8 children)

It could take decades longer than even that. America has experienced mind-boggling collapse in just 4 months. The damage to its reputation will take an entire restructuring of the powers of the executive branch to overcome. I mean, who wants to make a deal with an admin, when every 4 years it can go back on its word?

We still have at least 43 more months to look forward to. The bottom hasn't even begun to drop.

[–] wraith@lemmy.ca 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Is it more underreported than the notoriously underreported abuse in schools?

For real, we are on a post where an abusive career teacher got a 'teacher of the year award' no doubt in part for her behavior around students.

I am not doing this to whatabout abuse in the Catholic Church. I left it and won't be going back. But it's so odd to bring it up on a post about a teacher getting charged, the school clearly not identifying the problem (she had been a teacher for 11 years, it had been going on for a year, they didn't report it and even rewarded her behavior prior to the reports).

Schools have a serious systemic problem here too, and I don't believe we should deflect every time it makes the news. That's all.

[–] wraith@lemmy.ca 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Yeah, I'm sorry about that. Got hit with three notifications at the same time and replied to the wrong one.

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