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in humans the gender can be any, even when the person has specific genitalia. so saying gender is a misleading term because it rarely has to do with genitalia doesn't make much sense to me.

so basically i dont see why not just call it gender when the pronouns given to each word in such languages is gendered

English has the peculiarity of having two variants of the same word: "gender" and "genre" with slightly different meanings.

You could lean on it and go with genre. But just changing the word is unlikely to help much, the concept itself is deeply associated with genitalia in English culture, you'd still need to explain it.

The problem is that the noun class that is used to refer to you is based on your gender. As long as that is the case, grammatical gender will probably be the most apt name for the concept.

‘Noun class’, where adjectives have to decline to agree with the class would fit better in most cases.

great,now explain why the water in spanish fits into a noun class with incorrect "the" and why hands do the same thing, but for the opposite class.

bonus : why are fire and door in different noun classes?

the source of this arrogance : first language had no noun classes , nor indefinite articles.