this post was submitted on 30 Oct 2024
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Day off for uni, working from home, trying not to have a total wobble over feeling like maybe this was all a mistake. I'm in too deep now! But as I get older I certainly find myself craving security over novelty and excitement. Kinda sad because I feel like I am shrinking as a person. It's not too late to claw back a sense of wonder and discovery though.
Ooorβ¦ youβre in a stage of building a more stable base from which you can grow and venture out from once again.
Life comes in phases
You're right about life and phases, I do sometimes think that our trajectories are fixed but they don't have to be, although age is certainly something I can't ignore.
It would be nice to have had this period of huge instability after I got through this hurdle, but c'est la vie. I may be very far from finding housing stability but least I have a lot more of a fallback than I used to. Namely the right to live here permanently.
Oh man. I just realised what I said was intended to be encouraging/hopeful but could be toxic positivity. Sorry
The stakes are higher now than when I was young, now homelessness is a very real possibility for many.
yes, the time spent travelling and exploring is now time "wasted" on not getting secure housing. It's getting harder to catch up
I don't know if it's wasted if you had a good time and it brought joy to you.
Hopefully when things settle down you can go back to having more joy in your life with those aspects in mind.