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And this gave me perspective on...
Just now MUCH money that woman literally threw out!
And
That my neglect was much much worse than I thought. I lived like I was minutes away from being homeless, every day until I got my first job as a freelance dog sitter. Like stretching everything with water, having dirty clothes to stretch laundry detergent, using the shower like a bidet, sleeping when hungry instead of eating. When all of that was unnecessary as shit bro. I thought I hated that woman the most I possibly could but now I resent her more.
And how the rest of that family just TOLERATED that! The one relative originally doing the driving for the grocery excursions was a secondary breadwinner, and she died the other day. She paid half the bills, and that wasn't enough for that mother. That mother would scream and berate the relative for NOT driving and standing around for 15 hours in her days off. If that relative had more than two days off, then she'd be driving and standing around on all of them. Her WHOLE LIFE was just work, driving, and Candy Crush and now she's dead. Her daughter replaced her as the grocery excursion driver. And I AM THE FUCKING PROBLEM for suggesting ordering online!
Man. That woman should have never had kids. She married the stupidest men who probably settled for anyone who'd pay them attention, had all these kids she just used for money and neglected. Bloody hell when my online stores pop off I'm gonna donate to some charity to prevent this shit no fucking child deserves UNNECESSARY suffering. There's being born in an unfortunate situation (poor, homeless, etc, which shouldn't even be things but whatever) and having rich parents who deliberately withhold basic necessities. Suffering for NO FUCKING REASON bro.