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Never.
My parents at the time were religious conservatives, and authority was expected to be followed. He did say that members of their religious organization had served as Nazis, because they had been drafted by their government, and that it was morally correct for them to have served their country, just as it was morally correct for American members of their church to also serve their country, and for both of these people to try their level best to kill each other at the behest of their respective countries. "Render unto Caesar that which is Caesar's."
It wasn't until I had a nervous breakdown in my very early 20s--due in large part to the extreme cognitive dissonance caused by membership in that religious organization--that I started to seriously question authority.
A) thank you for completing the assignment
B) man that's rough. That "leaving the cave" moment is something I think (hope) most everyone has sometime in their 20s. It sucks because it hurts, it's ugly, and at the very least puts strain on our most important relationships. Sometimes it breaks the relationship and we need to find new ones but that is absolutely painful too.
I hope in your introspection you've seen the ways you've grown and recognize where the boundaries are to forgive yourself and others, and know what ties were better off cut.
I've been in similar situations and honestly it's made me more empathetic and patient for anyone I see who seems to be off the path of being empathetic and patient. I hope when you run into someone who is in your footsteps that you treat them how you wish you were treated. ❤️
My parents and I had a very strained relationship for a long time. It took them a long time to accept that I had not only left their religion, but had converted to Satanism (the atheistic version). Interestingly, Trump in '16 broke a certain amount of their social conservatism, and may have turned them off to Republican governance entirely, because they saw--for the first time--just how awful the political party they believed in had become. They're old--both in their 80s--but they're finally starting to ask some of the fundamental questions about following authority for themselves.
That's the tough one, isn't it? I know that when I was a believer, I said and did some pretty awful shit to other people, shit they absolutely didn't deserve, because my entire worldview was warped. Sure, it wasn't my fault I was raised that way, and sure, it's hard to really question the foundation of your upbringing, but at the same time, I caused real harms even though I didn't intend to. You can't change the past; the best you can do it apologize where you can, and try to do better in the future.
I try. And still, even 30 years later, in the heat of them moment, it's hard to be empathetic. It takes a degree of mindfulness that's hard. I continue to work on it.
Well, I've decided I like you.
Hail Satan 🤘