this post was submitted on 23 Feb 2025
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Relationship Advice

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I'm in my late 20s now and I feel so much despair.

I think a huge factor that shaped my world is my breakup almost 3 years ago. I had dated several people, actually more than several, before then.

I feel like people think I am delusional when I say this, but he was genuinely the nicest person I've ever met in my life. I don't understand how it's possible for someone to have actually cared about me to the extent he did. At times I felt like he actually cared about me more than my own mom did. It wasn't just that, he was intelligent and hilarious too and we had a lot in common.

Unfortunately I wasn't good enough for him and he didn't want to continue the relationship. This basically fundamentally broke me.

I had my share of heartbreaks before, but even when I met him, I was basically at my breaking point with love. I remember telling myself this was my last try (because I was so done). To this day I literally have no idea how I could have so much in common with someone. It's like we completely agreed on almost every aspect in life. Did he just lie to me or agree with everything I said or something?

Apparently he has also had random acquaintances tell him he's a breath of fresh air and so nice to be around compared to most people, so it's not just me.

I really don't know what to do other than cry about losing him. I've tried so hard to find happiness for myself but how could I let something like that go?

My life hasn't gotten any better since then and I honestly think I am hopeless. Genuinely.

Literally everyone pales in comparison to what I had with him. Even though what I had clearly wasn't real, because ultimately he clearly didn't feel the same about me since he chose to leave. It felt real to me, talking to him is the most enjoyable thing I had experienced in my life.

This all sounds extremely sad and pathetic but really what am I supposed to do? I bet most people haven't even come close to meeting someone like him so they can't relate to this at all. I am going to sound insane again but I think he is some prodigy or something. Like one of those one in a million once in a lifetime people that most won't even get the chance to meet.

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[–] dan00@lemm.ee 1 points 23 hours ago (1 children)

Yikes that sounds familiar as fk. My 2 cents: you might be craving isolation (and maybe in part is okay) but actually going out and meet people is better for yourself, force it if necessary. Change habits, meet new people. Shit happens in life, it’s only sad and pathetic if you let it consume you.

[–] Djfok43@lemmy.world 2 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

You're right, but where I live the people are very closed minded and most of the expats are married and older with kids and family or are digital nomads who plan to leave soon/live in their coliving spaces and only interact with other nomads 💀

[–] dan00@lemm.ee 0 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

Yep it sucks when it’s like this but I’m sure it could be worse. Ask yourself what do YOU like to do (chess, reading, gym, parc) and find a group in your city to hang out with. Make your day full, super full. You should come back home everyday exhausted, force yourself like this for a couple of months to make it a habit. When it will become too much you can start leaving some activities aside, giving value to what you really like.

Also Idk if saying that he's the best of the best can help you or him. You are probably exaggerating a bit and maybe you tolerate some quirks of him that prob others would hate. He too probably doesn’t feel the best of the best and hearing the disconnection between you and others might harm him.

Anyway socialising (even if you rather break your leg instead of talking to ppl) is the best way to get out of this. I was on the other side, i saw the whole process…

[–] Djfok43@lemmy.world 2 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

Disconnect between me and others? As I said others like him too so there's no disconnect there

[–] dan00@lemm.ee 1 points 2 hours ago

Like him and prodigy are different :) but anyway I just think that in this moment maybe it doesn’t help you.