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MAGA's gonna party like it's 2020!

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[-] Kookie215@lemmy.world 84 points 1 year ago

Y'all are gonna roast the shit out of me, but I really have a strong urge to buy toilet paper before all the weirdos start clearing the shelves (which I am fully aware makes me one of the weirdos)

[-] andros_rex@lemmy.world 86 points 1 year ago

Bidets are good, decreases your TP expenses long term. Just a bit to pat dry.

[-] Revan343@lemmy.ca 34 points 1 year ago

I wonder where most bidets are manufactured

[-] Ghostalmedia@lemmy.world 47 points 1 year ago

Buy them now while you can leverage remaining on shore inventory.

Also, get your car maintenance done now.

[-] Kookie215@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago

I want one so bad, but I can't get the husband on board. I have considered just buying it and installing it myself via the "do it anyways and ask for forgiveness" method, but dunno if butt spray is a battle I'm willing to choose yet. I just want to convince him it's a good idea.

[-] Ghyste@sh.itjust.works 41 points 1 year ago

If he doesn't like it he doesn't have to use it.

[-] Almacca@aussie.zone 14 points 1 year ago

He's scared he'll like it to much.

[-] j0ester@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

It’s true.. we all do.

[-] sheridan@lemmy.world 18 points 1 year ago

They're very easy to install. It's almost as easy as installing a shower head.

There are also compact battery powered portable handheld bidets that work about as well as the real thing. I have one I take with me on trips.

[-] betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world 17 points 1 year ago

I have a portable one too and it's not exactly what I'd call discreet but sure gets the job done. Honestly can't recommend it for travel though because in spite of the "portable" label, it's terribly bulky and causes me no end of grief when trying to take it on an airplane. Your experience may be different, here's the one I've got.

[-] ericatty@infosec.pub 5 points 1 year ago

Roflmao

Maybe I should upgrade...

[-] NABDad@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago

This is what I use at work:

https://a.co/d/clAv3hV

It's just a cap that you can put on almost any soda bottle or water bottle.

I keep an old 20 oz soda bottle in my office to use with it.

Great for travel and very discreet.

[-] tamman2000@lemm.ee 2 points 1 year ago

I travel with one of these. It's much better than not having one, but the one bolted to my toilet works much better

Thanks for the recommendation, not sure it's exactly what I'm looking for but I appreciate it all the same. Looks to be missing some key features (such as the carrying strap) that I've grown accustomed to.

[-] socsa@piefed.social 3 points 1 year ago

Ah yes, the old "two person" bidet. Truly the sign of a committed relationship.

[-] slumberlust@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

How many pumps would you recommend for taco night?

[-] ericatty@infosec.pub 1 points 1 year ago

The portable one is my rec too. I have a rechargeable one. I refill it with warm or cool water depending on my preference and then bippity boppity.

I like it because it's also easier to aim and control.

If I was going to get one to hook to the toilet, I'd get the type that's like a kitchen sprayer attached to hose.

[-] ricecake@sh.itjust.works 7 points 1 year ago

They're not mandatory if they're attached. It's not gonna jump out and douse your butt without you asking.

[-] Windex007@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago

Assuming your financial decision making for a purchase of that magnitude isn't at the "we need to make this decision together" threshold: do it.

He doesn't HAVE to use it just because you bought/installed it.

[-] Kookie215@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

Yeah, I can get one on Amazon right now for less than $50, so I can definitely afford it with my own spending money. I really should just do it.

[-] NABDad@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

What is his objection?

[-] BigBenis@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

Get one with a heated seat and he'll forgive you even if he doesn't come around to the butt spray. Heated seats are something I never knew I needed and now that I have it I can never go back. I cringe whenever I'm at a friend's house and I need to sit on their cold toilet seat.

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[-] pappabosley@lemm.ee 6 points 1 year ago

Having just spent 2 weeks in japan, I'm not looking forward to my first poop at home. Am going to be looking at cost of upgrading.

[-] ngdev@lemm.ee 4 points 1 year ago

just get one that fits under your toilet seat they're like 40 bucks and take 5 mins to install

[-] ricecake@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 year ago

Feh, you vastly underestimate how crap I am at plumbing.

Like the comic relief janitor of old, I have a gift for picking up every wrong part before I find the one I need.

[-] turtlesareneat@discuss.online 9 points 1 year ago

They're thumb nuts, you don't even need tools. There are pictures. It's really easy.

[-] spooky2092@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 1 year ago

If you're that unsure of your abilities, spend a bit more and get one of the replace the whole seat kind of bidets. Literally All I had to do was disconnect the waterline, install the t-junction, then reconnect the waterline. Plug the provided hose into both items, install with some thumb screws and enjoy your wet butthole.

[-] pappabosley@lemm.ee 1 points 1 year ago

The waterline for my toilet is inside the cistern

[-] spooky2092@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 1 year ago

It doesn't hook up to the wall anywhere you can hook into?

[-] pappabosley@lemm.ee 1 points 1 year ago

A plumber could, nothing i could self install

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[-] j0ester@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

Dude, trust me.. that booty will love you. I never liked it, until my wife got me in to it. I feel fresher than ever.

[-] banshee@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

Alpha bidet is where it's at

[-] pappabosley@lemm.ee 8 points 1 year ago

Still have my emergency supplies from covid. During the really scarce time, I ended up buying some of those massive rolls that go in public toilets, totalled 2.4km of tissue paper in the box.

[-] painfulasterisk1@lemmy.ml 13 points 1 year ago

I also have a box of sandpaper

[-] JeeBaiChow@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

Is that the stuff that needs 3ft per tear before it resembles some sort of protection against stinky finger?

[-] Hobbes_Dent@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

Shit tickets and mountain money come in many denominations.

[-] sugarfoot00@lemmy.ca 1 points 1 year ago

It's called Getting in touch with your inner self.

[-] krelvar@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago

We chose to do a little bit of "buying ahead." Where I would buy one pack of TP, I bought a second one, and when we use the first I'll get another. Nothing we're not going to use within a few months anyway, not looking to build a TP throne but just a bit of cushion. We were already mostly doing this anyway since covid because it seems like there's random shortages here and there that didn't happen prior, or at least not enough to notice.

Really, nothing beyond what I'd want to have for a natural disaster where we're on our own for a few days. Trying to be prudent without being a weirdo.

Just wipe your arse on the curtains.

[-] BigBenis@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

I invested in a bidet shortly after the pandemic mania. I laugh in the face of toilet paper.

[-] Kusimulkku@lemm.ee 3 points 1 year ago

I mean this is the reason there are shortages. People fear shortages, so they buy extra so they wouldn't be hit with the shortages, actually causing the shortage.

The whole toilet paper thing was hilarious

[-] Kookie215@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

Which is why I didn't say I was going to do it. I just said I had the urge to do it, and admitted it was silly and weird, we're saying the same thing.

[-] Kusimulkku@lemm.ee 1 points 1 year ago

I was just adding to what you said

[-] Kookie215@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

My bad if it came off as aggressive.

[-] Kusimulkku@lemm.ee 2 points 1 year ago
[-] bearijuana@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

I did. I live alone, so a single bulk pack will set me up for another year - and I was down to one inner-pack left from last year's purchase. So, fuck it, I'mma lock in my next year's worth of shitter paper at today's prices.

Went ahead and grabbed bottled & jugged water too - Not because I think I'll need it in the next 4 weeks of market downturn, but because if anything DOES go wrong (spring tornado, cyberattack on utilities, etc.) at least I have some on hand.

Doubled my canned good stash as well - Usually I keep 2 cans each of "my usuals" on hand and replace them as I use them, so I made room and stuffed the cabinet full for this spring/summer.

[-] gamermanh@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 1 year ago

Pro tip: buy a TP pack on whatever trip is one you wouldn't normally get. Do this every other trip until you have enough TP to last you 2 full normal gaps (the time between needing to buy whatever TP you buy)

Not just for situations like this, but if you're suddenly unemployed this can be a big deal, too

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this post was submitted on 26 Apr 2025
890 points (99.2% liked)

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