this post was submitted on 17 Jun 2025
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My fix has always been: that's fine! They go off on their own adventures. Now please roll a character that's going to play the game we're running here tonight.
I just don't DM for people like that anymore.
Oh god I might when my kids and their friends are older though. This is why you gotta raise em right.
Tell him "look, this game isn't about being a Total Badass By Yourself. It's about working with your team and overcoming challenges you couldn't otherwise. If you wanna be a Total Badass By Yourself, there are games you can play. But if you wanna play this, you're gonna have to work with me here. Because my time and effort is valuable, and I want to have fun just like you do.
Yes you do.
The easy way out is "abuse action economy". There are better uses for it, though, and better options here.
The other easy way out is to let people roll to see if something happens. Never, ever allow stalled play to resort to this. They have to search and talk.
Absolutely. The GMs got tables to help them determine what's going on - you've got one person. Engage with the setting, not a piece of paper.
And yes, DMs, sometimes that means adjusting your plans on the fly to make what they do have fun consequences. That's our job.
The fact your seeking feedback suggests no, but it was certainly a bad move, both as a DM and as an uncle. Punishing anyone, though especially children, without explaining why is mean. You have a responsibility to clearly communicate problems with others as an authority figure at the table and in their life. I don't necessarily think the punishment was unreasonable, but if it's not explained to them, it just comes across as arbitrary and vindictive.
Imo, the best way to handle issues like that is to set the rules and consequences, making them clear to everyone, and to be consistent in their application. Letting people off or being vindictive will just exacerbate things.
I think that was the right action, but you could have explained better. Instead of just "Ok, you stay at the tavern" something like "Ok, you can stay at the tavern if you really want to, but you do understand that will mean you're sitting here bored all afternoon while the rest of us play, right?"
Nah brother you did the best you could, 12yos are pains in the ass.
Yeah, in that case I think you did everything that could reasonably be expected of you.
Yeah you definitely showed that 12 yr old who is boss...
I recently tried to DM for my son and his friends. One of his friends insisted he wanted to be a DM. I tried to gently encourage him to allow me to DM for them, and he would have much more fun as a player. Nope, he insisted, and like a good DM, I let him discover for himself why he was wrong. It was fun to be a player character, and they all learned a lot about running a game, so wins all around.
That's awesome!
I GM public games and games at conventions, so sometimes it still crops up. People don't always make it readily apparent ahead of game time that they're going to pull shenanigans like this.
That's fair. I'm really picky with my games.
For my personal games I am as well.
"Make friends with gamers, don't make gamers out of friends" is an old tabletop adage that took me a long time to really learn.
For public stuff the best that can usually be mustered are safety tools and clear guidelines. But (rarely, thankfully) some people are just there to sabotage.
Everybody's gotta learn some time