What’s so hard to make friends through hobbies, and from there develop your relationship from? It’s far more likely you will find someone compatible if you are already friends with them first, than trying to form a relationship with a stranger that you literally know nothing about except for what they advertise online.

Of course, this would require people to actually go out and meet people. Maybe this is what they’re afraid of in the first place?

[–] acaleyn@lemm.ee 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It can be both.

My husband and I met through an online forum, and were friends for a long time before we decided to try a romantic relationship.

I think it's a fallacy to assume "online" only means dating sites these days. Many people's social lives are online, so that's where they meet friends and partners

[–] SimulatedLiberalism@hexbear.net 1 points 1 year ago

Yes, that’s what I meant. You start out as friends (whether you meet online or in real life), and develop from there as you get to know each other better.

[–] judgeholden@hexbear.net 1 points 1 year ago

some people have social anxiety or no real hobbies or hobbies that are mostly solitary

[–] 420blazeit69@hexbear.net 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Plenty of people do hobbies because they want to do hobbies, not to find someone to date. If you date someone from your hobby group then break up, it can fuck up your hobby group. Same risk if you ask someone out and it's poorly received. Depending on the hobby it's harder to find new people for that than it is to find someone else to date. It's similar to dating someone at work in a lot of ways.

The big benefit to online dating is that people are there because they want to date someone.

[–] SimulatedLiberalism@hexbear.net 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

That’s not I meant. You don’t specifically go do hobbies to date people, but they are activities where you get to meet new friends.

And as you get to know them better, sometimes feelings are formed, and sometimes the feelings are reciprocated. That’s when you start dating and form a relationship. Even if the feelings aren’t reciprocated, you still have made a friend.

It’s a much more healthy way of forming relationship than trying to meet random people who most likely aren’t compatible with you. This was how most people met their spouses (as shown on the chart in the 1990s) - through friends and as coworkers. You get to know people better if you see and interact with them regularly.

If you think about it, dating people is really just getting to know each other first. So, I don’t understand why dating apps are designed to help with “dating” rather than “making new friends”. It’s much more healthy to use the online spaces to meet new friends rather than to specifically date someone through an app.