this post was submitted on 15 Jun 2023
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how and when did you find out your sexuality? (lemmy.ml)
submitted 1 year ago by Bicyclejohn@lemmy.ml to c/lgbtq_plus@beehaw.org
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Here's my story.

Sometime in April a guy who was a friend of a friend started touching me, yes I know I should have not let this happen but I found him kinda hot so I let him touch me. Started questioning when I got home. I then developed a slight crush on him but got over it after a few weeks. At this point I figured out that I might be bi. I'm currently questioning what label of bi I fall under. I might be omni or just plain old bi

I should have handled the situation differently but it caused me to learn about myself.

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[–] I_am_10_squirrels@beehaw.org 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I had some feelings that I was different when I was younger, but being raised by a narcissist Christian mother and homophobic father meant I learned to suppress everything that wasn't "normal" very well. Ended up being suicidal for most of my teenage years from trying to fit in a perfect child mold.

I went to university later in life, and being surrounded by people who were open about their sexuality and personal journeys helped me open up to myself.

It took me until I was almost 40 to finally start coming out to people. I was worried my partner wouldn't like me anymore, but she's been very supportive. I consider myself pansexual nonbinary. I'm a person who likes people. It is a bit weird for me sometimes because I even though I do find other people sexually attractive irrespective of their gender, I've only ever been with my wife. Sometimes it feels like I'm stealing a label because I never got the chance to explore before I was married, and I'm not about to cheat on my wife.

[–] interolivary@beehaw.org 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Sometimes it feels like I’m stealing a label because I never got the chance to explore before I was married, and I’m not about to cheat on my wife.

I'd say that eg. pansexuality is just something you are instead of something that you acquire by acting on it, so I wouldn't worry about "stealing".

But regarding exploration, I guess my question is whether you would like to explore the other aspects of your sexuality?

[–] I_am_10_squirrels@beehaw.org 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I would like to, but I love my spouse more than I want to have sex with other people.

[–] interolivary@beehaw.org 1 points 1 year ago

Understandably if your partner wouldn't be fine with it that'd be totally understandable, but those two don't necessarily have to be exclusive though. Have you talked about the subject?