Off My Chest

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i can't move on but i feel it's my fault if he abuses me or bullies me for it. (thelemmy.club)

submitted 1 month ago by may_be@thelemmy.club to c/goodoffmychest@lemmy.world

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idk if i can move on. i see my abusive ex-friend EVERYWHERE. he started acting dry and rude so i blocked him. maybe i misunderstood even tho he treated me like shit, i dunno!

somehow i think it’s my fault. since i couldn’t figure out how to block him and was seeing his ass everywhere, i decided on the slight chance it was my fault, to apologize.

he will probably say something abusive and never trust or forgive me for blocking him since i know he struggles with feeling remorse or taking accountability for his actions. it’s highly likely he either doesn’t care about me or thinks im the problem.

i know it’s my fault if he continues abusing or bullying me. My fault for wanting a second chance

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[–] Ragnor@feddit.dk 4 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

It isn't your fault. Bullying is never the right thing to do, and if someone does bully you it shows that their character is flawed.

The best way you can help them improve is to say no and cut the bond, so they feel the consequences of their actions. If you just accept it and let it fly, they will keep doing the same thing to others, hurting and pushing them away in the process. He makes his own life and the life of those around him worse until they change.

Please, don't blame yourself for their mistakes. Help both them and yourself by saying that the line has been crossed. If they take responsibility for their actions and apologizes sincerely to you without you contacting them, you can reconsider whether it is worth giving them another chance.

If you do take them back, the line has to be even harder than it was before. If they cross it again even slightly, it was just sweet talk and they didn't take the warning seriously. Getting stuck in an abusive relationship is not worth it.