Not to be all mom here but if someone abuses or bullies you. They are not your friend.
this post was submitted on 22 Jun 2026
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Off My Chest
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ur right
I know it’s hard, but do your best to stay no-contact. One of the effects of abuse and trauma is the hyper vigilance you described. This includes “seeing them everywhere” in situations you might previously never noticed or thought about.
Abusive people, toxic people, negative people are not merely not worth your time, they are dangerous. That danger often comes in subtle, insidious, non-obvious ways. The easiest way to move forward is to find better friends to forge bonds with. That sounds scary and difficult, maybe impossible, but it can it can be easy and fun. First, decide on a few things that interest you. It could be pilates, board games, fishing, anything. Next, start looking for some local groups, clubs, or events and start going to them.
You may also want to look for emotional abuse recovery groups. While I generally avoid anything religion-affiliated, even those can be better than nothing. The point is to make supportive connections with other people, and that is the most important thing dor you right now.
You are not alone.
You are valuable.
You are cherished.
Find your people. You can message me if you need to talk. I’m here for you.
:) thank you
It isn't your fault. Bullying is never the right thing to do, and if someone does bully you it shows that their character is flawed.
The best way you can help them improve is to say no and cut the bond, so they feel the consequences of their actions. If you just accept it and let it fly, they will keep doing the same thing to others, hurting and pushing them away in the process. He makes his own life and the life of those around him worse until they change.
Please, don't blame yourself for their mistakes. Help both them and yourself by saying that the line has been crossed. If they take responsibility for their actions and apologizes sincerely to you without you contacting them, you can reconsider whether it is worth giving them another chance.
If you do take them back, the line has to be even harder than it was before. If they cross it again even slightly, it was just sweet talk and they didn't take the warning seriously. Getting stuck in an abusive relationship is not worth it.